He throws his palms up and backs away. “Whoa. What are you saying? Are you…are you ending this?”
“No,” I’m quick to say. “No. But…”
“But?” The word flies out of him.
“But…I need to go back to Golden Harbor.”
“Go back? But you just got home.” Confusion smears his expression.
“When Charlie finishes school at the end of the week…I’m gonna go back. Maybe for a few weeks or maybe…for the summer.”
“The summer?” he snaps, and he’s back to pacing again.
“Grandma Dottie left her cottage to me. I need to go back there and get the house ready to sell. And spread her ashes.”
“So you’re not breaking up with me?”
I bite my lower lip.
West dips his chin and blows out a breath. He moves across the room toward me and wraps his arms around my waist. “You and Charlie are the best things that have ever happened to me. Don’t do this.”
I catch the mist glossing over his eyes when I say, “I’m just asking for some time.”
“And then what?”
“And then…I don’t know.” Honesty wins and pride moves through me. Seven years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to do this. Heck, the Rosie fromoneyear ago couldn’t have done this. “I don’t want to make you any more promises I’m not sure I can keep.”
“I don’t want to lose you.” His words croak out like a confession.
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. But I have to do this. I owe it to Charlie. And to Beck. I can never give them back those years I took away, but I can do this for them.”
“I suppose that makes sense. Even if I don’t like it.”
He releases me and I work at tugging the ring from my finger. I set it into his palm, closing his fist around it. “I think you should hold on to this.”
Without speaking, he tucks it in his pocket and backs up while his eyes scan me from my head to my toes and back up again. A shiver runs through me. “Just taking a mental picture of you before you leave.”
“West,” I whisper, not really sure what else to say.
“I’m going to go eat with Charlie. And I’ll do her bedtime routine if you don’t mind.”
“Of course.”
“I’m sure gonna miss my girls.”
I’m tempted to correct him and tell him we aren’t his girls. That the phrase he always says is starting to irritate the hell out of me. But I don’t.
“Oh, and Rosie,” he calls before exiting the room. “I think it will be best if you sleep in the guest room until you leave.”
My mouth pops open but then I think better of it and clamp it shut, not having the energy to drag this conversation on further. I just watch him leave the room. And then I collapse on the bed, releasing quiet sobs as worry about whether I’m even doing the right thing wracks my brain.
22
BECK
Now that Rosie and Charlie are back in Golden Harbor, each day that passes is like a ticking time bomb. I want to enjoy every second I have with Charlie, but how am I supposed to do that when we’re racing to a finish line I don’t want to reach? I’ve only just met her, am finally getting to know her, and I’m going to have to say goodbye again. It’s unfair.
How can it be that I found out I was a father less than two weeks ago, and now I can’t imagine my life without this person? It’s like I’ve been missing this piece of me for the past six years and I’m finally whole. How am I supposed to just let her go? Especially when she wants to stay too.
