Pippa was certain she consisted of 99% caffeine at this point but agreed, for the sake of having something to focus on. Alex fetched cups and measured out coffee.
“Did you sleep?” he asked.
“No,” she admitted. How she wished she looked more dignified. Having such a pivotal conversation in her sweatpants and misshapen Metallica T-shirt was hardly helping her feelings of total inadequacy and confusion. “You?”
He shrugged. “Only a little. But some space was probably just what we needed, right?”
Pippa regarded him stonily. “Actually, I think talking it out is what we needed.”
“You’re the one who ran off to Frankie’s,” Alex reminded her gently as he handed her a coffee. “We could have done all the talking you needed last night.”
“Can you blame me for taking some time out to gather my thoughts?” Pippa accepted the proffered mug, even as her stomach churned in protest at the sight of it. “You’d just blown up my entire life.”
“That’s not what I did,” Alex protested as they took seats at the kitchen table. “I’ve been racking my brains all night. I know it’s a big thing to drop on you. And I am sorry for that.”
Pippa blinked back relief-fuelled tears. “So, you understand?”
Alex cupped her face. “Completely.”
Pippa exhaled. “God, you really scared me! I thought I was going mad last night!”
“Oh, love.” Alex kissed the tip of her nose and love flooded Pippa’s exhausted system. It was going to be okay.
"So, what now?" she asked, leaning into his touch.
“What do you mean?”
“The sale,” Pippa replied. “Surely… I mean, now you understand my point of view, you’re going to cancel it, right?”
Alex’s face contorted with a frustrated pain. “No, Pip. The sale’s still happening. I’m sorry about the way I told you, but I’m still doing this. I mean,weare. Right?”
Pippa leaned away from him, that blessed relief draining fast. “No, not right.”
Alex visibly fought irritation, his cheeks pinking with the effort. “God, Pip. Stop being so stubborn! It’s a brilliant opportunity and you won’t even consider it. At least discuss it with me like we always do when we have a big decision to make!”
Riled by the hypocrisy of what Alex had just said, Pippa slammed her mug down, blurting, “I thought you were going to propose to me last night.”
“Propose?” Alex went visibly pale. “Why would you think that?”
Pippa lifted a hand. It was as if the world had braked to a sudden halt, but Pippa was still hurtling forward. It was dizzying and she knew the only way to make it stop was to be completely truthful. “It’s time … I mean, it felt like it was time,” she said shakily. “We’ve talked about it so much over the years, the when, and the how. Like you said, we discussed the big decisions. We said that once the orchard hiring business was up and running, we could think about marriage and kids an—”
“Whoa.” Alex shook his head. “I thought those chats were, like, you know, hypothetical. You know, what with the business being so full on.”
“Well, they weren’t!” Pippa fought tears that burned her exhausted eyes. “Not to me.” Her mind worked at great speed, reliving every conversation they’d ever had. Was it possible she’d misunderstood Alex’s intent for the future? She’d been so driven, so focused on following the roadmap they’d set for themselves, it hadn’t occurred to her that Alex had diverted to a different course. But then again, had the signs always been there? What she’d seen as compromise and commitment on her part, Mae and Frankie had seen as capitulation.His lackey,they’d said. There had been discussions about the future alright, but each time the final call had been Alex’s.
“Pip. Love.” Alex intoned wearily. “I thought you understood.”
Pippa looked at Alex through tear-misted eyes and it was like seeing him through a new lens. It was one thing to sell the farm out from under her, but another to act like that had been their shared vision all along, when he must have known damn well it wasn’t. How many times had they planned and plotted? The decision to delay a wedding and babies so they could get the farm to where it needed to be hadn’t been hers alone. And to think that she would leave her hometown for what looked like a grimy concrete hellhole was preposterous. “How could you do this?”
“I thought you’d relish the challenge, to be honest,” he said haughtily. “Your parents are living the retirement dream in Florida, Frankie busy working in Sheffield and Mae’s all wrapped up in the pub … there’s plenty of reasons to leave. Hurst Bridge isn’t the centre of the bloody earth!”
“I know it’s not.” God, he made her sound like some inbred hick too scared to leave the borders of her hometown. Which wasn’t true in the slightest. Pippa had always envisioned taking time out to see the world when it made sense, of having adventures with her own little family one day. But those dreams didn’t change the fact that as exciting as the world was, nothing, but nothing, beat home. “And this is definitely a done deal with Mick?” Fresh pain lanced her heart when he nodded confirmation. “So, what does that mean for us?”
Alex’s eyes widened. “Well, I presumed … I mean, I just thought that you’d come with me. Work your magic like you did on this place.”
The coffee mug shook in Pippa’s hands.“It wasn’t magic, Alex.” It had been her hard work that had seen the farm’s yields increase year-on-year; her sacrifices that had kept the lights on, the staff employed and the cattle fed. She’d only endured this because she felt she was building something that would benefit not just her but the town she loved so much. A business that she could share with her kids. “You presumed,” she went on, “without asking.”
Alex’s brow furrowed. “It’s my farm,” he said. “My decision.”
