‘And you are sure that he saved you?’
‘Yes.’
I watched Antoine’s shoulders sink. Like some life just left his body. ‘Go home, Margot.’
‘Antoine …’
I stood up and walked towards him, but before I got there, he strode purposefully to the door and opened it, holding it ajar. And when I went past him, head up, shoulders back, I noticed that his eyes were glistening.
‘Margot?’ Antoine called when I was a few metres away.
‘What?’ I asked, the word sticking in my throat.
‘If you are going to surf again, you need to find another instructor,’ he said, before closing the door behind me.
26
I stormed across the beach. But instead of turning down the lane towards the campsite, I kept walking, along the long sandy stretch I hadn’t explored before. I gazed out at the water, at the surfers, and felt it again. That magnetic pull to the ocean. This wasn’t something I could just give up now. Not something that made me feel like that. I couldn’t just give it up. Iwouldn’t. I didn’tneedAntoine. I kicked the sand.
I’d walked so far in my frustration that I didn’t recognize this part of the beach at all. There was a beach café down here, pedalos, banana boats. Maybe it was attached to another campsite. And I was about to turn round when I heard a voice say, ‘Margot!’
I spun round and looked towards the café, where I spotted Lili sitting with Delphine, both in sunglasses, at a little table.
Lili waved me over. And I was still so exasperated I considered pretending I hadn’t seen them, but then Delphine waved at me too and I found myself waving back.
They both stood up and greeted me with kisses to my cheeks.
‘Un café?’ Delphine asked, motioning for the waiter.
‘Un coca, s’il te plait,’ I said.
Delphine ordered for me and the waiter came back almost immediately with my Coke, setting it down in front of me.
‘Merci,’ I said.
‘How are you feeling?’ Lili asked, reaching over and touching my hand gently. ‘That was scary.’
‘I’m OK,’ I said. I watched them look at each other. ‘I’m a bit sore, but now I really want to get back in the water, and Antoine has just told me he won’t teach me any more.’
I squeezed the bottle of Coke as I took a drink.
Mum and Dad were trying to stop me surfing, Antoine was trying to stop me – it was ridiculous.
Lili was whispering something to Delphine and then they looked at me in pity.
‘Are you sure you want to keep on surfing?’ Lili asked. ‘After what happened?’
Her black curls were pulled into a bun on top of her head and I could see her whole face up close for the first time. Her features were soft, with rounded cheeks that made her look younger than she was. She reminded me of a doll with her delicate red lips.
‘Ineedto keep surfing,’ I said without thinking. It was true, it was more than just wanting to surf. I hadn’t cared about anything in my life for the last couple of years, not really, and now that I did, all those feelings I had when I was swimming – the rush of excitement, the pride of knowing how good I was – it was like a drug. And it wasn’t just that. I knew who I was when I was swimming, like my life just made sense. And I thought I’d lost that forever. Until I got on that board. AndI wanted more. I shook my head. ‘But Antoine has given up on me.’
Delphine looked me straight in the eye. ‘Non, he has not given up. He is scared. I have seen how he looks at you, Margot. You are not just a summer girl for him, and after that day, he is scared of you getting hurt. I know how he works.’
The way he looks at me …I had a sudden flutter of butterflies before the memory of what had just happened between us turned them all to dust.
‘I get that he’s worried,’ I said with a sigh, ‘but I made a mistake. Doesn’t everybody make mistakes? I’ve learned from it. I want to keep surfing … Ihaveto.’ I took a drink of Coke, the sweet bubbles fighting with the bitterness in my throat.
Lili whispered something else to Delphine, who was just staring at me. Her brown eyes searched my face for something.
