Back in my room, my phone buzzed.
ARI: Surfing … that’s unexpected. Turns out Theo is a piece of shit to everyone, not just you. He dumped me for Carrie Richards a couple of days ago. I fucked up and I know it. Sorry. A x
And I didn’t reply. I didn’t have the headspace. Not with everything else going on. So I just put my phone down and went to sleep.
40
Something felt different the next morning. I woke up with a knot in my chest that I couldn’t shift. And it tightened when I heard the stir of Mum and Dad loading the car with luggage, trying their best to be quiet.
I got dressed. Bikini, rash vest, T-shirt, shorts, hoody and towel to keep me warm after I’d been in the water. I left my hair down. The blonde curls, bleached lighter by the sun, bounced around my chin. No make-up. I had even more freckles now, and my face was the light golden colour of perfect-for-me toast.
I took a deep breath. Leaving this room was more than just that. It was my family leaving me, staying here alone, competing without them watching from the sand. The plan was that I’d stay here until the following week, on my own, and then I’d move into the room at the beach house.
My eyes welled but I closed them and took more deep breaths.
I could do this.
When I got outside, Rue and Wren were standing beside the car, hair sticking out, eyes still half closed.
‘Margot!’ Wren ran towards me. ‘Do you still have your map?’ She looked up at me.
‘Of course,’ I said. I pulled it out of my back pocket. ‘How else would I be able to get to the beach?’
Wren grinned at me and I looked down to see Rue staring at me with the most serious look on her face. ‘You better win,’ she said, matter-of-factly. ‘I want to tell all my friends.’
‘Of course I’ll win. Look at my new board!’ I said. Wren pulled away and Rue launched herself at me. One of her splints dug into my shin, but I breathed through it. Her arms were so tight round me that it took everything in me not to cry right there. For Rue, who had to leave her holiday to have an operation, for me, wishing so hard I could be thereanddo the competition.
‘Have you got your lucky shell?’ she asked. And when she pulled away, there were tears streaming down her face. I went down on one knee and pulled it out of my pocket.
‘Always,’ I whispered.
‘Good, because you can’t win without it.’ Her words were choked.
‘Listen, Rue, you’re the bravest kid I know. Never change.’ And she threw her arms round my neck and hugged me again.
‘Ruthie, love, we have to go.’ Mum’s voice was gentle as she pulled Rue away. Rue walked to the car and got in beside Wren, but didn’t look at me again.
I braced myself and looked at Mum. She smiled, taking away some of the nausea that consumed me.
‘Oh, Margot,’ she said, tilting her head slightly. ‘Look at you.’
I smiled, closed-mouth, trying not to cry.
‘You’ll bebrilliant. Youarebrilliant,’ she said. And before I could reply she hugged me, and I breathed her in, trying to memorize the scent.
‘Thanks, Mum,’ I whispered.
She got in the car, and then it was just me and Dad. Dad, who looked more worried than Mum. He was pacing around on the dusty ground in front of the car.
‘You know if you want to leave you just need to make a call and we’ll get you on the next flight, it’s not a problem,’ he said, like in his head he’d come up with a million different solutions to a million different disaster scenarios.
‘Thanks, Dad,’ I said.
‘I mean it. Any time. And you can call night or day. Just because we’ll be busy with Rue’s operation doesn’t mean that we won’t be available for you. We –’
‘I know, Dad. Thanks. And I’ll be fine. I promise.’ I smiled and walked over to him.
And I thought his hug might break me then. He held on, even when my arms went slack. Then he cleared his throat and put his hands on my shoulders.
