‘All right,’ I say, shifting slightly as something digs into my back. ‘I’m all ears.’
‘I’ve spoken with my father. That is, if you could call our exchange a conversation,’ he says, grimacing. ‘It is his view and the view of the Imperial advisers that …’ He trails off, clearing his throat. ‘After I’m crowned emperor, it has been decided that I must marry.’
My stomach curls in on itself. Of all the things I expected him to say, it wasn’t this.
‘An Imperial marriage is first and foremost a political alliance,’ Hal continues, his voice strained. ‘It is a widely observed tradition that a bride be selected from a neighbouring kingdom, whether to open up trade routes or simply to ensure peace between the two lands.’
I think of the emperor, about how he could never have married Kestrel Calloway, a Terrathian commoner with a hastily assigned title, how he was forced instead to marry Goneril, a Vosti princess, and, in doing so, sealed our alliance with Vost, the kingdom with which we trade gold for expensive fabric and materials.
The already tiny broom cupboard seems to shrink around me.
‘I was delusional to think for even one second that I might be allowed to choose my own bride,’ Hal says bitterly.
He looks as though he’s trying to hold himself together. I fear that if I reach out and touch him, he might fall to pieces.
‘And does your father … does he have someone in mind?’
Hal takes a long, deep breath. ‘I am to marry Princess Mirade of Thaven.’
Thaven. The land of jewels and precious metals.
‘An emissary is being sent to draw up a marriage treaty. Upon its completion, our betrothal will be announced before the courts.’
I taste blood and realize that I’ve been biting the inside of my cheek.
It’s stupid, really. I’m not a fool. I always knew, deep down, that nothing could ever happen between us. Nothing serious, nothing binding. He’s the prince, after all. Soon to be the emperor. And I am the most hated girl in all the realm.
‘Have you ever met her?’ I ask quietly. ‘The princess?’
For some reason my lips don’t want to form her name.
‘Once or twice. Our fathers are old friends. She’s nice enough. But she’s not …’ He swallows. ‘She’s not mychoice. I … I don’t have a choice, Blaze.’
My fingers trace the scar on the back of my hand.
‘Do you know what my father said to me?’ Hal’s tone is infused with a venom that does not suit him. ‘He said that as soon as I get an heir out of her, I can do as I want. As if I would ever do what he did to my mother, discarding her like she was nothing and letting thatwomanparade around court as if she were his wife.’
I think about the way the emperor looks at Kestrel – like she is the only person in the room, like she is the only beautiful thing left in this world.
‘And it’s … it’s decided?’ The words are thick and clumsy in my mouth.
‘I keep trying to come up with ways to get out of it, but there’s nothing,’ says Hal. ‘Not unless I want to jeopardize an extremely powerful alliance and put the entire empire at risk before I even take the throne.’
‘I understand,’ I tell him. I don’t, not really, but it’s just something people say.
‘The only thing left for me to do is accept my fate. But I justcan’t. I can’t accept it.’ He steps closer to me, dark eyes pinning me to the spot. ‘It kills me, Blaze,’ he says. ‘Knowing I can’t have the one that I want. It kills me more and more every day.’
My breathing is uneven. Elaith’s words echo in my head.
I’ve never met anyone who guards their heart like Hal.
But what is any of this, if not letting his guard down? What is he doing at this moment, if not speaking from the heart?
And what of my heart? It feels bruised, and maybe a little foolish, though it still leaps when Hal pulls me closer, his cool hands wrapping themselves round my waist.
The orb of light above us seems to grow brighter, like a miniature sun. There is safety in sunlight. Warmth and certainty. And beauty so bright it blinds.
I look at Hal, at the scar below his eye, the shadows lingering in the planes of his cheekbones. He looks back at me, his gaze darkening with despair and something deeper, almost devouring.
