33
‘Concentrate, Blaze,’ River says patiently.
‘I am,’ I lie.
But I’m too distracted to concentrate. I’m as inept as I was when I first arrived here, my rain mere drizzle, my ice a scattering of frost, my waves little more than ripples on the surface of the water. I can’t focus on my anchors because my emotions are all over the place.
Dread plagues me, regret fills me up and theguilt– it chews me into pieces, all because ofhim.The Earth Cleaver. Ikissedthe Earth Cleaver.
I’m tortured by the memory of his lips on mine, soft and devouring, the way he’d –
I swallow hard, wiping the back of my hand across my mouth as though some trace of the kiss still lingers there, telling tales on me.
He tried to reach for me, after. But I shook him off, shook my head, backing away until I had summoned enough strength to turn and run. He made no attempt to follow me. Yet a single vine came slithering in my wake, guiding me safely out of the maze.
My skin prickles with heat and I squeeze my eyes shut.
What have I done?
Just then, someone barges past roughly, almost knocking me headfirst into the pool.
‘Oh, how clumsy of me. Sorry, Blaze. Didn’t see you there.’
I glower, reminded of just how much I miss Kai. He turned training from something that must be endured into something I actually looked forward to. But now he’s no longer an Heir, and I’m stuck with Marina. She’s wearing her usual contemptuous smirk, yet there’s now an edge of uncertainty to her resentment. Because for all her jibes, here I am. And if I weren’t in the midst of a moral crisis, I’m sure I would take considerable pleasure in being the one to knock Marina Kalpara’s unfaltering sense of superiority.
I spend the rest of the session sitting by the pool, listening to the whispers dancing across the surface. At the end of the day, River takes me aside.
‘Tomorrow, you will have your first lesson with your queen.’
I stare at him in alarm. ‘What?’
‘It is custom for the reigning monarch to offer one-to-one lessons with the remaining Heirs before the third trial. You still have much to learn, and Her Majesty is an excellent teacher. I can say this with authority and a hint of self-indulgence, since Queen Hydra was once, too, a student of mine.’ River smiles gently. ‘Off you go now.’
And off I go, rubbing my thumb over the mottled skin of my scar as I make my way across the palace grounds, trying and failing to banish the Earth Cleaver from my mind.
Back in my rooms, Spinner is sprawled over a silk chaise, gazing into space.
‘And what are you daydreaming about?’ I ask, sitting down on the window seat.
She sighs theatrically. ‘Your brother.’
I roll my eyes. ‘Naturally.’
Elva hovers in the doorway holding a new bunch of golden roses from Hal. The sight of them sends a fresh pang of guilt coursing through me.
‘I’ll fetch a vase, my lady,’ she says quietly before slipping out of the room.
Spinner yawns loudly. ‘She’s a timid little thing, isn’t she?’
‘Hard not to be, really, after all she’s been through.’ As soon as the words leave my mouth I want to snatch them out of the air and cram them back in.
Spinner is looking at me strangely. ‘Whatever do you mean?’
‘Nothing,’ I say, too quickly.
‘Has she said something to you, Blaze?’
‘No.’ Again, too quickly. I grit my teeth. ‘I mean, she’s a serf, isn’t she? She’s not exactly living a life of luxury, waiting on me all day.’
