It soothes me, listening to him, and after a while the shadows slowly recede into nothingness.
Steeling myself, I step out into the light.
Hal startles as I lay a hand on his shoulder, and the music stops so abruptly that my caress feels more like an assault.
‘Elva.’ He smiles softly. ‘I didn’t see you.’
I feign nonchalance. ‘You’re the one who said I’d make a good spy.’
His expression turns slightly sheepish. ‘I’m sorry for springing it on you like that. I know it’s a lot to ask.’
‘I want to do it,’ I assure him. ‘I want to help. And you were right, about me going unnoticed. None of the Eyes gave me a second glance at the feast. I’m invisible.’
‘Not to me,’ says Hal. ‘Never to me.’
He shifts to the side. I glance warily at the closed door before sitting down next to him on the piano stool.
‘Why aren’t you in bed?’ I ask. ‘It’s late.’
‘Too much on my mind. Anyway, I could ask you the same question. Why are you wandering the palace during the small hours?’
‘Why do you think? I’m your shadow, remember?’ My lips quirk in spite of myself.
‘I didn’t mean for you to not get any rest,’ he says reproachfully.
‘I like the nighttime,’ I reply with a shrug. ‘It’s peaceful, and it reminds me of home.’
The lines on Hal’s brow cut deeper. ‘You know you didn’t have to accept, don’t you? You know that you’re free to go, whenever you choose.’
‘I do, and I choose to stay.’
His voice is strained. ‘I understand why, and that it’s not only for me that you’ve decided to remain.’
My heart thumps painfully. He’s talking about the serfs.
‘I won’t abandon them,’ I say quietly. ‘I couldn’t live with myself.’
Hal rakes a hand through his hair in a manner that reminds me of his half-brother. ‘You know I always planned to free them when I came into power,’ he says. ‘To takeaction where my father did not. But my advisers still won’t even entertain the idea. They think me too soft. If I’m to make them listen –reallylisten – I’ll have to target them separately. Appeal to them one by one. Bribe them, if I have to.’
I’ve seen the way they look at him – Kalf, Alator and the others. They see him less as a leader and more as a boy. A figurehead. I think back to a time not so long ago, when Hal was just a prince, powerful in name but powerless when it came to facilitating real change. I thought everything would be different when he took the throne. Yet now, even as emperor, he walks a fine line, subject to public opinion, governed by his own advisers.
‘Can’t you just … overrule them?’ I ask tentatively.
His face twists with anguish. ‘I wish it were that simple. But I have to tread carefully. I can’t give my enemies, or my allies, any more reasons to question my judgement.’
I hate it. I reject and resent it with every fibre of my being, but he’s right. Thanks to King Balen, the political climate is unstable. If Hal were to liberate the serfs now, the entire system might collapse. A decision like that could bury him. And then where would we be?
I make no reply, lightly tracing the dark circles beneath his eyes. He looks even more gaunt than yesterday, his lean frame verging on thin, his cheekbones jutting out, sharp and angular. It scares me, seeing him like this. I remember what he said in the observatory, about the Eyes spreading lies regarding his poor health. Only, they don’t appear tobelies. Haldoeslook ill. I assumed it was stress-related at first, but now I’m not so sure. And no matter how manytimes I ask him about it, he just shakes his head and says,It’s nothing.
Hal threads his fingers with mine. ‘I’ve been thinking about … about the other reason you’re reluctant to return to Obsidia.’
I feel my throat tighten.
‘I know your parents died in the raid, and that you think your sister didn’t survive the journey over here.’
I glance down at our joined hands, grief tearing at my insides.
‘For days, I’ve been poring over old ledgers and treaties,’ Hal continues. ‘And tonight … I found something.’
