‘Are you sex-shaming me?’
‘Absolutely not.’
Oddly, I believe her. ‘Okay.’
‘I just don’t understand the dilemma.’
‘Well, I came here for my ex, but now I’m sleeping with the guy who used to be my best friend, who I was fake-dating for Ollie’s benefit, and now, I’m marrying my ex to someoneelse. Add into that that my life back home is probably going to implode, that I’ve been lying to my boss about being sick, and that my job is on the line… I don’t know what I’m going to do about all of this.’ I sigh. ‘I can’t believe I came here thinking I’d win Ollie back.’
‘A stupid thing to do and think.’
This time, I don’t think she’s joking.
‘Do you like this friend?’ she asks, turning on the bench to face me.
‘Massively.’
‘But you are worried sleeping with him will ruin your friendship?’
‘Sleeping with Sam was phenomenal.’
‘I don’t need to know,’ Lydia says, holding up a hand. ‘I don’t?—’
‘Concern yourself with the particulars.’ She gives me an incredulous look. ‘Everything has changed so quickly.’
‘Things always change,’ she says.
‘I haven’t changed.’
‘I don’t know you well, but I think you have changed since you checked into the hotel.’
I make a sceptical noise, and Lydia shrugs.
‘What I mean is’—I try to explain my own confused thoughts—‘the things I feel for him are… things I haven’t felt in a long time.’
‘You’re not in love already, are you?’
‘No, of course not.’ She might be right. But only psychopaths fall in love in a week. ‘But Sam is Sam. It’s like we never lost touch.’
Lydia eyes the pink boat for any signs of movement. She crosses her arms and looks at me.
‘You want something a little more with this Sam man?’
‘I think so.’
‘Then tell him.’
I look out at the glistening ocean. It all sounds so simple when she puts it that way. ‘This is all make-believe. Pretend. I have a life back home that’s a dumpster fire. A real life. Not this.’
‘Life can be whatever you want it to be. If the ex is out of the picture, why are you waiting?’ Lydia asks. ‘That is my biggest regret.’
‘What is?’
A dreamlike expression transforms Lydia’s face.
‘Agnes was the girl of my dreams,’ Lydia says. ‘We did everything together. She made me the happiest I have ever been. We were together at a time when we were both finding things out about ourselves. And then I messed it up.’
‘How did you mess it up?’
