“I do.” He rubbed his nose. “Look, I don’t want to be any trouble.”
“You’re no trouble.”
“See? That’s what a good dad says. The shit ones don’t actually give a shit or tell you to piss off.”
“I’ll never tell you to do that.”
Shit. Here I was, making promises I had no right to make. Playing right into his little hands.
“The people who said they were going to adopt me? The first day…when I moved in with them, the guy took me down to the barbers and told them to shave my head. Just in case I had nits or somethin’. I think I would have known if I had nits. Had them all the time when I was little, and Mum could never afford to treat it. Got taken in by socials and cleaned up, and then I was back with Mum again and they’d come back. It was shitty because I really liked my hair. Then suddenly I was bald and ugly, and the guy just laughed.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. I was too. They were nice when I first met them, but it…it wasn’t good. I wasn’t what they wanted, and they weren’t… They tried, but…”
“It’s not your fault. As you said, you can’t just take two people and put them together and tell them they have to be best friends. It doesn’t work like that.”
“I don’t want to cut my hair.”
“That’s fine. If, and only if, you fancy a trim, we have the barber come in every Thursday. You just put your name down with your housemaster, and they will make the appointment. You can have your hair however you want.”
“I like Andrew’s hair.”
“Mr Andrew does have cool hair.”
“And I like…the clothes.”
“Thank you.” An admission. He’d been so overwhelmed in the shop that he’d not been able to say a word.
“Bailey, why don’t you have a memory box? I asked Mrs Patricks at social services where it was, and she didn’t know.”
He laughed.
“Stepdad… I think in Nottingham. Burnt it all because I’d wet myself. Made a big fucking bonfire. Mum just laughed.”
He didn’t even look emotional. I was, though, and it hurt. But yes. I needed to know these things. And fucking hell.
“See? Another good dad point. You ask questions I can answer. I hate when people ask things I haven’t got a clue about. Like, Bailey? How are you feeling? How am I supposed to know that? I feel like shit most of the time.”
“I know, I feel like shit a lot of the time too.”
“And you’re really sad sometimes. I can see that.”
Perceptive little shit.
“We’re all sad sometimes.”
“Yeah. Do you miss Noah?”
“I miss him a lot.”
“Then he needs to get up here and marry you.”
“Yeah.” I had to blink away a tear. I wasn’t sure if it was a sad one or just laughter.
“So, chicken curry, double paratha, a little bit of rice and…what do you say about…some spicy lamb chops?”
“Really spicy?”
