I looked into his eyes, his perfectly blue eyes, which were full of genuine concern for me. He had no idea I knew. What was this initiation? What was he hiding from me? The betrayal was so intense that it roared through my bones, and I almost felt like I might vomit.
“Hey, hey,” he said, running his hands down my arms. “You’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”
“I’m scaring you?” I seethed.
His brows twitched in confusion. He spread his legs wide to be nose to nose with me, his hands stopping me from my panicked pacing.
The cold metal of his wedding band scraped my wrist as he grabbed me, and for a heartbeat, it didn’t feel like a promise. It felt like a shackle, a piece of him welded to my skin.
What would he do if I cut it off?
“I saw it. I saw everything. I read it,” I said coldly. The look of confusion returned to his face, and he licked his lips.
"Saw what?”
“The text message on your phone. The initiation. There was a picture. How… how do you have that picture? That’s my dad’s—that’s my family crest.”
There was something in his eyes then, something heavy and shadowed, a secret crouching behind the blue.
“What do you know?” My voice came out brittle. He broke eye contact, staring at the ground like it might open and swallow him.
“'Nothing.”
It was a lie. A blatant, soul-deep lie.
“Max.” I stepped closer, heat rising in my throat. “Tell me. The fuck. Now. What do you know?”
He dropped his gaze to the ground again. “It’s… nothing.”
He scrubbed his hands over his face. For a second, I thought he was going to say it. His mouth opened, and his throat worked as if the words were crawling out. My heart hammered as I waited for the truth.
But then he shut his eyes, shook his head, and said, “I can’t.”
The word tasted like my childhood. Doors locked from the outside. Voices behind them. My father’s hands are on my shoulders, squeezing too tightly. The blood. So much blood.
My heart broke into a million pieces. “You can’t, or you won’t?” My voice cracked, anger mixing with fear.
“Mackenzie…”
“Don’t you dare lie to me. Not you.”
His throat bobbed, like the truth was trying to escape. His mouth even opened, but then he closed it again. A wall of tension fell between us.
“Don’t do this.” His voice was quiet. “Not now.”
He scanned the woods around us, as if searching for something.
“What do you mean?” I pushed him hard, right in the chest. “Are you saying I should pretend I don’t know you’re hiding something from me? You think keeping secrets is the same as protecting me? You think being in the dark makes me safer?”
His fingers tightened just a little too much around my wrists, enough for the bones to throb. Part of me knew he’d never hurt me. Another part knew he didn’t have to. His size was its own kind of threat.
“You just don’t get it. I can’t tell you. If I do, it all falls apart. I made a promise to keep you safe, and this is how I’m doing it.”
“You’re not keeping me safe!” My voice cracked. “You’re supposed to be the one person I can trust, and you won’t even look me in the eye and tell me the truth.”
For a moment, I caught a glimpse of it, the confession struggling to get out. His jaw clenched, his chest rose and fell. But then he kept silent.
“I’m coming with you, Max. You’re not going alone. I won’t let you!” I yelled.
