Scared?
Wilder wasn’t scared to tell me about NYU because I’m dramatic. He didn’t tell me because he didn’t feel worthy of going.
That had nothing to do with me.
I look to Wilder, who’s already looking back at me.
“I fell right into her trap, didn’t I?”
Stupid Fanny.
Still instigating problems from… well… wherever she is.
“I didn’t tell you about NYU because I was scared,” Wilder makes clear before turning to face Cash. “And you really need to stop being a jackass ninety-eight percent of the time.”
“I’m not,” Cash argues weakly.
“You are,” Wilder returns coolly. “Come on, you guys. We only have so many summers before we’re tied to jobs we hate and in lives that force us to be responsible. Why are we wasting this summer fighting over the past?”
“Because you slept with her,” Cash mumbles.
“I fell in love with her,” Wilder rephrases. “And the difference between us, Cash, is that I never would have left her. That’s how much I love her.”
Cash’s eyes find the sidewalk. “I loved her, too.”
“You had a really shitty way of showing it,” Wilder says. “Can’t we just move past this? Cash?”
Cash shrugs. “I don’t know.”
“No one cheated,” Wilder begins. “But yeah, we all hurt each other.”
“Maybe that would be for the best,” Cash says, hanging his head.
“No,” I speak up. Cash raises his head. “Fanny started this mess. And while we all participated in it, we’re all friends. We’ve been friends for years. Maybe there have been some bumps along the way, but we’re doing so good. Don’t ruin it, Cash.”
Cash exhales heavily. “What happens when you two go to New York? And I decide to go to Baltimore?”
“It’s a two-hour train ride,” Wilder says. “We won’t see each other every day, but we’ll be close. Close enough to still be the kind of friends who don’t rip each other apart.”
Cash chuckles softly. “Never thought I’d see the day Wilder was the voice of reason.”
“Right?” I laugh.
There’s a moment where all the tension fades and I see Cash as he is. Someone who was given everything, but the one thing he needed. A real family.
And Wilder and me? We’re all he has left.
We stand there for a second, all three of us breathing hard, like no one knows what to do with the fact that we’re still here.
“Let’s make a pact,” I say. “We’ll spend two weekends out of the month together. One weekend, Wilder and I will head to Baltimore. The next weekend, Cash comes to New York.”
“I like that plan.” Cash nods.
“What about summers?” Wilder pipes up.
“We’ll do the first summer in New York,” Cash volunteers. “And figure it out from there.”
“If I can figure out—”
