Retterwan? Vinym?
I bury my face in my hands.Lazariot.
The dream eases into my thoughts as I try to deny the possibility. He had spun his back to mine as we fired intodarkness at enemies that moved like shadows. It was then that a voice above me had called out for a red band. But I can’t remember his face. And most of my dreams feature recent events, not my secret wants and desires like they seem to think.
Can they see it? They must be able to. But there’s no way for them to know it was Elix if I don’t even know.I’m certain I’m just blending memories with whatever freaky shit was in the sleep meds.
“Kita!” Ohni calls over the radio. “Why aren’t the TVs on in here?”
The TVs around the room blink on, displaying another racer laughing and nodding at the camera. And then, to my horror, I see my ugly mug appear, sitting on a medic’s bed just after my hormonal nap.
“Ah, jeez,” I mutter, peeking through my fingers.
“Zariah Landing of—space? Interesting. Just space, huh?” A nurse asks.
“That’s where I live. On my ship.” I watch myself reply and am glad I didn’t mention it’s a shitty old StarBuster I named Tempest.
Should’ve named her Temperamental.
“Okay, well, this should be easy for you. If you could sleep anywhere on Pearl of Sol, the galaxy’s famed cruise ship, where would you sleep?”
“Captain’s seat.”
I sip coffee from my mug, listening to the other girls cheer and whoop behind the doctor like it was some sort of big deal to say such a thing.
The women in the lunch hall cover their mouths, stifling shocked laughter. A racer with black bands around her arms offers me a high-five. “Nice one. You got balls, girl.”
I oblige. “Have my own ship. She’s a clunker, but it’d sure be cool to pilot a beauty like that.”
“We all have dreams,” the blonde says.
“For the second question,” the doctor continues. “If someone steals from you, what do you do? Do you report it or do you let it go?”
I watch myself respond, cringing at the reaction of those in the room and hating the question because it feels like I was profiled and targeted.
“Depends on who steals what and why,” my TV self says.
“Explain.”
“If a selfish jerk takes all my stuff, I’ll report it. If someone steals my food because they’re dying of starvation, I won’t. Unlike certain people in my family, I believe in earning my way, protecting the innocent, and disciplining the derelicts. But I don’t care aboutstuff. Hurt someone I care about, hurt someone innocent, and I will —”
The feed cuts to the next girl.
“Ooh,” the woman beside me sings out. “Girl! What’d you say?”
I lick my healing lip and shake my head. “You don’t want to know.”
“Hell, yes, I do!” The blonde faces me, bright blue eyes eager for an answer.
I shift as the form-fitting ABR race suit rubs over my back, over the scar that my brother put below my right shoulder blade. “Cut out their heart with the crudest knife I can find. Since they don’t have a heart, they don’t need the muscle in their chest, and it should go to someone who will use it better.”
“I like you. I know you’re independent. I am, too. Not as aggressive, but I did knock out a few teeth on my way here.” The woman shifts closer with a mischievous grin. “I’m Teol, like creol, the seasoning, with a lot morekick. And I’m still dreaming of flying a clunker.”
I chuckle, and it feels good. It’s been too long and feels strange. But I introduce myself and shake her hand.
“What’d the guy do?” I ask, motioning to the seat across from me.
She waggles her head, sits, and spins a fork on the table. “Dude got a little too handsy with a girl at the port. Came in early this morning. He missed his flight. Orange guy. Ginarigon I guess.”
