Chapter 5: Menace
“Do not argue with me. Do not give me attitude or I will tell Savage what you have done,” Poppy sneers.
“I was trying to help,” I insist.
She points up at me from where she crouches over Sefina. “You neglected her request. You were told she had medicine. You did not return her bag.”
“I was thinking long-term survival, her walking through the night with—”
“Look at her!” Poppy nudges my mind over our network so hard and fast that I feel like I’ve been slapped in the back of the head. I curl forward.
“Set her bag down!”
I do as Poppy says as if Poppy is in command of my body. The female Titans have stronger cyberpsyches than us males. When I drop the bag beside her, she sighs.
“I know you were just trying to help, Menace, but you must listen to the needs of women. They are not machines. They are more sensitive and have—” She glances back at the pile of Welvir bodies that their kind trampled over as they ran from Sefina’s cries.
Poppy chews a lip and almost looks like she’s going to cry. Then she grits her teeth. “There are many enemies out there,” she quietly says. “They take advantage of those they think are weaker when they are capable of more extraordinary things than we can comprehend.
“Do not be like our enemies. You must accept the limitations of your knowledge as a Titan. Do you understand me?”
She is taking charge like a CyberPilot. I have missed order amid this chaotic battle to survive. I was built for one purpose. It was not the same as hers.
Sickening guilt grips me. “Yes, Poppy.”
She gets up and slings Sefina’s bag over her shoulders, balancing it on top of the rest of her gear. “Pick her up.”
I hesitate while Bomber and Shifter watch.
Poppy sighs. “Shifter can’t. Bomber still has to diffuse his gadget.Carry her.”
My ultro spools faster as I crouch beside Sefina’s limp body. She is gorgeous when she sleeps, all anger wiped from her face. But I cannot touch her like this. I’m not ready.
I am not built for this.—for handling pretty things.I’m not sure where to hold her that won’t hurt her more.
“What is with you?” Poppy hangs her rifle at her side. “You have carried others.”
She looks at Shifter.
Menace>>Shifter: Not a word. Tell her, and I’ll rip out your ultromotor myself.
Shifter>>Local: Don’t fuck with me, Menace. Get your shit straight. We don’t have time for internal battles. Be honest with Poppy about why you kept medicine from Sefina.
Menace>>Local: I didn’t keep it from her, you traitor. I am a stealth unit. My human programming has never worked properly, not since the plant. I must judge these situations like a human, by guessing. So kindly fuck off. I’m doing my best to help the only way I know how.
Poppy gasps. “Menace…”
Menace>>Local: Shut up. All of you.
I lock my coms for a moment and study Sefina as I try to clear my head.
I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I still don’t really understand what’s going on. You were so strong just a minute ago. What happened?
Reluctantly, I slide my arms under Sefina and gather her against my chest. When I stand and look down at her, something buried in my core cracks with agonizing force. It makes me curl myself around her body and not want anyone else to ever touch her again.
Sefina is the only female I feel might be able to handle me, but all I’ve done is push her away and hurt her. I just can’t bring myself to admit what I need to her because needing anything makes me vulnerable. The Solcrue are cruel and like to use what we love against us: our Brothers, our human commanders, our ships, and human females, especially the mates of Brothers.
I adjust my grip on Sefina so that her head rests against my shoulder.
