“They hunt all females and Mindorans,” the doctor replies. She turns to me. “Why did you run?”
“Run?”
“In your dream?”
“I had no weapons, no ship, no other way to survive.” I glance between the women. “How did you know I was running?”
The doctor looks over a tablet. “It’s a special concoction that stimulates critical decision making moments in your life when you dream. Combined with our beds, we can guide dreams to expose what we need to know about you to band you so males know your personality type. You are docile but courageous when you see another in pain.”
“Not sure I’d call myself docile. I was a scavenger.”
“Non-confrontational.”
“But it’s a dangerous job. And there is definitely confrontation with other scavengers.”
“And what did you do when they confronted you?”
I chew my cheek. “I ran.”
“Uh huh. One more question.” The doctor looks me over. “If you were given everything you ever wanted, would you keep it all for yourself or share it?”
“Share it.”
“Why?”
“If I can help others, we can build something better for even more of us.”
The nurse removes the device on my forehead and helps me sit up.
“I think that’s only part of your answer.” The doctor sighs. “But I will accept that.”
“Wait,” I say to stop her before she walks away. “What do you mean by that? What’s the other part?”
She gives me a sad smile. “Let me just say this, youdodeserve thecarea male wants to offer you.”
The doctor walks off but my nurse remains.
“What’s up?” she asks like she knows I’m not eager to get up.
“I just don’t really know what I’m doing here. I just want a better life for my dog.”
“So there’s a deeper problem. You don’t have a direction, a goal for your life?”
“Just to survive and keep surviving until I die. There is no goal, no dream, no purpose…not anymore. I’ve always had shit jobs. I’ve lost my parents, my closest friends, my home.”Someone special.“I couldn’t finish college. I always wanted to go back. But my life has just been one disaster after another.” I feel like a failure. “So I don’t really know what else to do except to change something, take a new path, and hope it leads somewhere better. But it just seems like each one is worse than the one before it.”
The nurse sits on the end of my bed. “Everyone has different philosophies on life. Some believe in God or gods or spirits or energies. Do you have any of that?”
“My faith broke the day my mother died. It’s been one disaster after another since. So…no. Maybe there is, but I haven’t seen anything that gives me hope like that once did.”
“Well, my two cents is this: we aren’t born with a purpose. We are born because of natural selection, because we’re biologically wired for it. Purpose is our choice. We decide what our purpose is. And I know what yours is.”
“You do?”
“It’s obvious.”
“Enlighten me.”
“You care for lost and broken souls. You mend what is fractured, likely because that’s how you feel. And fixing others is easier than fixing yourself. But you feel a little better each time you help someone else. And that is beautiful but sad. That’s why Doctor Jarin told you that you do deserve any affection a male wants to give you.
