“We’d been dating for about a year, even got engaged. He’d just left to report for duty when he was cut off by a aristocrat’s kid out for a joy ride in his father’s new luster cruiser. Never stopped or even knew what he’d done. Just sent the little transport smashing back into the ground.”
Even thinking about it now makes my stomach feel like it’s caving in.I’m sorry, Caden. I didn’t see them. I couldn’t warn you. It was so fast.
“So I understand your brother’s situation,” I solemnly add.
Zorin sits back and looks me over with sympathy.
I wave a hand, trying to swat away the memories that won’t stop torturing me. “It doesn’t fucking matter. This universe is ruthless. It has taken everything from me. Now I’m half Isonian, tainted by some species I’ve never heard of. I can see masked soldiers. I make metal smoke. And I can’t have the one good thing I’ve got in life beside my dog.”
I study him for a long moment. “If they take my dog or they hurt you, I may just tell them to fucking come get me.”
“Nebs?”
My thoughts warm and slow down. “What more can they do? Physically cut out my heart?” I take in a deep breath. “At this point, it would almost be a favor.”
“That’s twisted.” Zorin scratches his chin.
“What?”
He shakes his head. “I think you just need some sleep. I know you’re hurting. But don’t let that loss control you. Motivate you, yes. But if it grabs you, it will destroy you, and that’s just giving the enemy what they want. And they deserve to rot for what they’ve done to us. Don’t you agree?”
“It won’t heal the past.”
Zorin leans forward. “Nothing will. It’s better not to try and fix that. What can you do now to take back the power?”
“I just focus on today, then tomorrow. I don’t trust. I don’t get involved. I didn’t even want to come here. Desperation led me to you. And now we have to fight everyone just to be together.”
Zorin takes my hand. “Deep breath, Tessi. That’s the alcohol talking.”
I wipe the tears from my eyes with force. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get upset.”
“You shouldn’t have to be strong forever.” He gets up and draws me out of my seat and against his body. “Let’s call it a night.”
He doesn’t give me a choice as he picks me up, cradles me in his arms, and carries me out of the dining hall. I don’t care who watches or that Carielle says something as we pass.
Zorin guides my head to his chest and walks back to my room. Davarok opens the door, then turns to stand guard outside.
The TV switches on, and Zorin carries me to my bed, where he sits back, curls me up in his lap, and piles pillows aroundme. He turns on a channel that just plays rain sounds as Radar climbs up and tucks himself at my feet.
Zorin hugs me close. “Tell me how to make you more comfortable.”
“Just this. Just…stay.”
His hot breath warms the top of my head. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I choke back a sob. “Caden said the same thing.”
Zorin rubs my shoulder. “All the more reason to take my offer. Azrim will come out of the shadows if I die. He will protect you, even if he puts up a fight now. He’s a good soldier with a very dedicated Shifter. He’s just hurting right now.”
“He will hurt forever, Zorin,” I say. “Sometimes, being alone is the only thing that makes sense because then we can’t lose anyone else we love.”
“I know. But deep down, I think you sense just how much all of our lost souls need each other. We don’t deserve this.”
I sniffle. “I felt that way in the beginning. Now I feel like wandering forever is safest because everyone I touch dies.”
Zorin guides my hair behind my shoulder and laughs softly, sadly. “Welcome to the life of a Federation soldier. It doesn’t get easier. You have been through a lot. You will endure more before the end. But know you are stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
“I wish I had your confidence.”
