I turned to her and said, “You’re fired.”
Her mouth fell open slowly. I didn’t have time for her theatrics. She was only out of pocket because she was trying to get the new “it girl” to sign her on as her manager as well. She could go to hell and take her entire management firm with her. I needed someone who treated me like I mattered, not like an afterthought.
My dad grabbed my hand, and asked, “You ready?”
“No, but I won’t ever be ready, so let’s get this over with.”
He nodded and began walking. Kimaji’s hand was at my waist, letting me know that she was right where I needed her to be. Her mother was seated to my right and so were a lot of our friends from high school. The closer we got, the tighter my grip on my daddy’s hand got. He lifted our hands and leaned over to kiss mine.
“It’s gon’ be okay, baby girl.”
I slid my arms around him, knocking my hat right off my head. I didn’t give a damn about that hat. My daddy wrapped me in his embrace and unconditional love as we viewed my brother’s body. He looked like he was sleeping. I found myself weeping aloud for him, wishing this day didn’t have to come.
When I heard my niece crying behind me, it gave me a different perspective. At least I had twenty-five years with him. She had only just begun to know him. After a year or two, she wouldn’t remember much about him, especially if Cree didn’t keep him on her mind. I released my daddy and turned to go to my seat. He followed me as Cree consoled Majesty. Cree had been good to my brother, but he’d treated her like shit.
I took a deep breath as she and Kimaji came to sit next to us. I closed my eyes, just wanting to disappear. There was plenty of family behind us, viewing my brother’s body and stopping to hug us on their way to their seats. This was the part I hated most. Half of these people were strangers to me. They did this moreout of tradition than out of actual concern. I wouldn’t see any of these people again until the next funeral.
I rested my head against my daddy’s shoulder and held Kimaji’s hand while staring at my brother’s body. I was done hugging people that didn’t mean anything to me. Kimaji was more like family than they were.
When I felt a presence over me, I lifted my head to see Noah and his wife. I stood from my seat, and said, “Thank you so much for coming.”
He extended his arms, and I fell into them while his wife gently caressed my back. I could hear her humming, and it was extremely soothing. “We’re gonna be family. Family, whether blood or not, is there for each other.”
I nodded as I pulled away from him and hugged his wife. “We got’chu, sweetheart,” she said.
I’d never met her, but her spirit was just as soothing as Noah’s. I loved that, and I knew it was what I needed. Once they walked away, RJ hugged me, then Sonya. Her husband gave me a polite nod. Sharee and Exodus both hugged me and offered their condolences. Graham was standing in front of me when they walked away. I swallowed hard.
He gave me a tight smile, then extended his arms. I hugged him loosely, still embarrassed for how I treated him through text. He kissed my cheek and stepped aside for his parents to shake my hand. Once they’d walked away, I noticed some record execs from my label. They offered their condolences as well, then walked away to be seated.
I sat next to my dad, thinking about how I didn’t even want to go to the repast. I just wanted to go home. When the line to view Bilal was done, the funeral director went to the casket and prepared to close it as tears fell down my cheeks. I closed my eyes until I heard the preacher speak. I opened them in timeto see them walk away. Everyone was standing, and they began singing a congregational hymn.
I took a deep breath and stood with everyone else, hoping my participation would make the time go by quicker.
“Do you need anything, Arlie?”
I shook my head. Kimaji’s mom had taken me home, and Kimaji stayed with me. Once we left the cemetery, I refused to go back to the church to “fellowship” with a bunch of people who were only there for a free meal. Kimaji had let Noah and everyone else know that I was going home, so I assumed they would be doing their own thing afterward.
When I heard the doorbell ring, I huffed loudly. I didn’t know who was at my house. The media wasn’t here when we got here, thankfully. They’d probably followed the family car back to the church, not knowing I had come back home.
The knock at the door had me damn near holding my breath, trying to make as little noise as possible. “It’s me, Arlie.”
The door opened, and Maj walked in. She closed it behind her and sat on the bed next to me. She grabbed my hand, and said, “You have guests. Sonya, her husband, Sharee, Noah’s wife, and Graham’s mom are in the kitchen about to cook for you.”
My eyes widened. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. They went to the store and got stuff to make a gumbo . . . your favorite.”
I lowered my head, silently begging the tears to stay in place. “Is Graham here too?”
“Yes. So is Noah, RJ, Exodus, and Graham’s dad.”
“Okay. Let me change.”
She nodded and left out. Tears cascaded down my cheeks. I was thankful for people that truly cared about me. I pulled out a pair of jeans and a T-shirt as someone knocked on the door. That couldn’t have been Kimaji. I went to it and opened it to find Graham standing there. I stepped aside to let him inside.
The minute I closed the door, I rested my head against it, and said, “I’m sorry.”
His arms wrapped around me from the back. “For what?”
