“We all did.” I shook my head, voice tight. “I never imagined him capable of such treachery. Gods, I should have known better.”
“Then Fyrn… I don’t know what happened, where we went wrong.”
“The same is true of Tallon.” I sighed, letting the truth of it settle in my chest. “But I recognize my own failings. I spent too long hiding from Eldeiade, letting him take the brunt of her attention. I made myself available, yes, but I never sought him out. Ironic, that I now suffer for the sins of twenty years past.”
“You suffered then as well.” His eyes opened, pinning me in place with a clarity that cut through my guilt. “We all saw it. You’ve suffered more than anyone. Even here—look at us all.” A weak laugh rasped from his throat as he gestured at the wounded lying across the ward. “We are at ease, knowing this is all we can do—but you? You bear this burden—willingly. Mightier men would’ve surrendered to such hardship long ago.”
“It’s my fault you’re all here.” I scoffed, a bitter twist curling in my chest. “You and Gayle—if I hadn’t left–”
“Your kingdom would have perished the day you let her go.” Clay’s voice cut through me, firm despite weakness. “You believeyourself to be selfish for chasing her, but has Elohios not blessed you this entire time? Is it not his will? She’s the best thing for Radaan, and you’ve always known it. The moment you sensed even a glimmer of joy, you branded it wrong. Kallias, do you think Elohios wishes you misery? Is there a kingly scroll somewhere that decrees a monarch must suffer for feeling a measure of happiness?”
I bristled at his rebuke, telling myself I let him get away with it because of the delirium clouding his mind. The Harvesters’ concoctions had left him fragile, disoriented.
“You’ve spent your life living for others, Kallias. Now it’s time to live—for her. We’ll get her back.”
“It’s not getting her back that I doubt.” My jaw clenched, muscles tight with unspent fury. “It’s what I will sacrifice to make it happen.”
Chapter Forty-Nine
Nienna
The dress was nothing more than a tease. Cut in a similar style to the one Tallon once graced me with, though this seemed crueler somehow. The sheer red fabric gathered over each shoulder, whisper-thin and cool against my skin, winding over my breasts before cinching tight at the waist and spilling between my legs in a scandalous fall. The mockery of a garment brushed my thighs with every shallow movement. It didn’t offer a breath of modesty. My stomach clenched in rejection when Tallon straightened on the bed, the mattress giving a soft sigh beneath his weight.
Shame lit my skin like dragonfire, heat licking from my chest to the tips of my ears. He hadn’t looked away. Not once. His gaze tracked every rise and fall of my breathing, every tremor I fought to suppress. He derived some sick pleasure from seeing me so exposed, as if my humiliation were a banquet laid at his feet.
Egath watched too, though with a restrained, almost clinical interest. His broad shoulders remained stiff, hands claspedbehind his back. As if he endured this spectacle for Tallon’s sake. As if I were a formality.
They didn’t desire me. No, that much was clear from the way Egath assessed my body, gaze dragging over me like a blade testing meat. Calculation, not want. But Tallon… the gleam in his eye as he rolled onto his side, propping his head in his palm for a better view, held something far darker. The corners of his mouth tilted in quiet delight. That wasn’t hunger in his expression. It was cruelty distilled into something bright and eager. Pure evil.
He would rape me just to hurt me.
Humiliation tightened around my throat, an invisible fist squeezing until breath came thin and shallow. Tears gathered, hot and insistent, blurring the room’s edges. I refused them. I would not give him that offering. My spine locked, shoulders drawing back despite the tremor beneath my skin. Fear clawed at my ribs, but I forced it into stillness. I had to be stronger than my terror.
“Don’t forget the collar,” Tallon said, flicking his fingers toward the servant as if ordering wine.
I had a single breath to steady myself before cold steel framed my neck from the hollow at its base to the curve beneath my chin. Heavy. Unforgiving. A pathetic protection from the sharp teeth of the Velli. A harsh pinch caught at my nape where flesh snagged in the clasp. Pain sparked, quick and humiliating. My swallow hit the unyielding band, movement constrained.
“See, Egath?” Tallon hummed as he rose from the bed. Boots thudded against the floorboards. He plucked something from the servant’s trembling hands and spun me toward the mirror.
My reflection stared back, strange and lacquered. My hair had been dragged high, every strand scraped tight from my scalp to bare my shoulders. Rubies winked from the pins anchoring the severe bun, crimson facets catching the torchlight. Matching stones studded the collar at my throat, and a keyhole dominatedthe center. A small key dangled from a chain, swinging in Tallon’s grip with a faint metallic chime.
Egath grunted, unamused. “You pretend the throat is the only place we feed from.”
“It’s one less place Vellos will be tempted to pull from.”
Tallon’s long, pale fingers traced down my bare arm. His touch was like tiny, crawling insects skittering beneath my flesh. A shudder betrayed me, racing across my skin before I could stop it.
“Though there’s so much more…” His thumb pressed to the inside of my wrist, feeling the frantic pulse beneath. “They could bite here.”
The pad of his finger slid higher, skating along my hip before drifting up the curve of my chest. My stomach knotted. Panic tightened my limbs.
“Or here–”
“Play with your toy later.” Egath sniffed. “The king is waiting.”
Tallon’s grin cut sharp across his face. Once, I might have called him handsome. Now his features twisted into something grotesque, eyes bright with appetite for pain. A heinous monster. His hand slipped beneath the thin fabric, palm flattening over my heart. The beat slammed hard against his touch, wild and desperate. He chuckled, low and satisfied, savoring the rhythm he had forced from me.
“Such a strong girl.” He looped the chain over his own neck, letting the key settle against his chest where it clinked against the ridiculous silver web of a mantle. Ownership displayed in plain sight. “Let’s see how strong you are in front of the Velli king.”
