I staggered off the platform as it landed back in the small gray room below the arena.The shimmering field blinked out, and then Silver Sea was there, pulling me upright and herding me over to the table.The gray brin stared at me, fur ruffling and the bridge of her nose wrinkled.I'd been around enough brin to know that expression: she was surprised and… impressed?
"Hope you didn't place any bets on my imminent demise," I wheezed at the brin as she and Silver Sea set to unclipping my armour and peeling it from me, moving my limbs for me like I was some sort of pet in a show.
The brin's fur rippled a little more in amusement as she thunked the pieces of my armour down on the table.They were filthy, a mix of dirt and blood smearing the silver worktop."Workers are not permitted to gamble on the outcome of the Tournament."She flashed me a tooth, though, and added, "My rather obnoxious cousin, on the other hand, will lose a great deal of money.He'll be devastated."
I grinned, hissing momentarily as Silver Sea held my hands up and looked at the cuts, which were black with dirt now."Happy to help.You find me if you'd like me to film a little video message for him, and you can play it as a reminder at your next kin-moot."
"Can you walk?"Silver Sea asked, ignoring entirely how charming I was being.That brin was very charmed!I glanced at my handler and nodded, and she nudged me along and out of the room, down the sloping hallway and back into the maze of white walls.I was aware, distantly, that my head was pounding and my legs felt like jelly, and that most of my skin was burning and stinging.But it was hard to take much note of what hurt when the inside of my chest fizzed like a sparkler:it was likeI'd been lit up from the inside, like some of Araxis's joy had been contagious.
Sashen of Creche Thiel.
I shook my head with a grin as I followed after Silver Sea.I mean, sure, it was a bit fast to get married, but when the alternative wasdeath and also you'd fallen headfirst in love with the person who wanted to save you and whisk you away, well.It was a pretty good turn of events.I'd put our story up againstAcross the Timescapeany day.So long as we didn't have to deal with any more drama.I didn't think I could handle fighting clones of ourselves from the future.
And as forourfuture – I was going to see the kids again.With a pang, I realized that I even wanted to see Vivith.I bet they'd be deeply unimpressed.But now they were stuck with me, for however long.
And it was true, I didn't know the first thing about having a partner.Being in arelationship.There had to be books available.There were probably video tutorials.Maybe I'd start seeing a therapist?Were there therapists who worked with human clients?Khrelen had waxed poetic about the auvril he'd been speaking with on Yellow Fin.Maybe –
Silver Sea stopped in front of me, flicking at her wristband.I looked around, and realized that, in my daze, I hadn't tracked where we were going – but the tunnels had changed in appearance.The white walls and tiles were gone, and instead had tapered to sandstone, mauve and peach, the hard corners giving way to a domed ceiling.
"Do you understand how Araxis is protecting you?"Silver Sea asked, turning to look at me.
I stood in place, swaying ever so slightly."I'm part of thecreche," I said, and tried to swallow down the big, stupid grin bursting to get out."And…" I trailed off.
"Your position is one of significant cultural value," Silver Sea said."It is as we discussed before: economic decisions must be made with deference to cultural beliefs.This is why you were able to be on the sands today."
"Okay," I said, blinking at her.My hand flexed at my side; it felt tacky again.I looked down, and my cuts were still oozing blood.My palms were covered in grit and grime, my own blood blackening the lines of my palm."It feels like there's abutcoming."
"CPEF will investigate to assure the claim is legitimate.They will want to keep you somewhere secure until this concludes, some weeks in the future.They have already filed the detention request."
All the fizzing happiness snuffed out.A caul of exhaustion settled over me, my body feeling every inch as bruised and beaten as it was.The skin around my cuts throbbed in time with my pulse, and I could feel the ghost of Andiri's hand wrapped around my throat every time I swallowed."So that's where I'm going?"I asked, voice hoarse and miserable.
"There have been two other requests made for custody."Silver Sea flicked at her wristband and brought up two files, pinching them so that I could see them.But the letters were swimming in front of me as they glowed green in the softly-lit tunnel."You will be unsurprised thatGrace Mining Initiativeand Seraphim Station have jointly filed in a request.I am pretending I have not seen it."
I nodded, numb, my eye catching on Seraphim's logo at the bottom: a ship haloed with light above the curve of a planet below.
"And the other one?"I asked.
"Creche Athal has also filed for custody.I do not understand the intricacies of abayan politics and thus cannot know why they would make this request – but Araxisof Creche Thieltold you to go with them."She gestured to the second file with one long, gray finger, her charms tinkling behind her.In a flash, both documents winked out and she levelled me with a hard, golden stare."I do not care what Araxisof Creche Thielsays you will do, Sashen Solar.What wouldyouchoose?A Creche Athal shuttle is docked nearby, down that hallway."She gestured to a branching mauve hall, curving away from us."CPEF has officers waiting at the end of this tunnel."She indicated the tunnel in front of us, which ended somewhere in the distance that I couldn't see."The choice is yours.I will part ways with you here."
I looked at the two directions.On the one hand, I didn't want to be held by some judicial body indefinitely, especially not if they'd already ruled against me once before.On the other, I didn't have the first fucking clue about abayan culture or what this creche was like.
I did know Araxis, though.
"Thank you," I said.I took a step toward the tunnel that curved away, where a shuttle would be waiting."Wait – let me give you my ping address.I'll get a band eventually.Maybe we can talk."
A thin breath whistled from her nostrils."How quaint.You assume I do not already have this information.Go, Sashen Solar: you will note that I am leaving you with instructions to proceed toward the CPEF officers for your rightful detention."She turned and headed back the way we'd come, leaving me alone in the maze beneath the arena.
I looked down the curving tunnel, sucking on my lower lip and tasting blood.Alright, I could do this.Araxis trusted whoever these people were, so I had to as well.Of course I did.I trust you entirely, I'd written, and I did.
Just –
Here is the irony: if I had been just a littlelesstrusting and went to meet with CPEF, I never would have found out the information that led me here.The justiciar would have investigated, found our claim legitimate, and I'd have gone off into the sunset with my space prince.Maybe he would have told me one day… but I don't know.I don't think so.
But because I trusted him with every inch of me, because I had utter faith, because I knew down to a molecular level that I could put myself entirely in his hands and he would cradle me gently, I went to Creche Athal, and that lovely fantasy collapsed around me, aroundus.He gave me the tools of our own ruin.
In my weaker moments, I wish with everything I have that I'd gone to the CPEF officers.At least then everything wouldn'thurtso fucking much.
But I trusted Araxis.I loved him so much that it felt like I'd been rewritten on a genetic level, fundamentally and permanently changed, and so I made my way down the mauve tunnel, my feet scuffing.I was exhausted and filthy.The past day had put me through every possible emotion, andit was likesomeone had taken a melon baller to my chest and scooped out all of the organs inside,like there was just a wet, vacuous space inside of me.The hollowness made me feel off-balance,likeeverything about reality had been tilted just a few degrees off angle.
