So I definitely still felt my bruises and scabby cuts, and I'd had to be treated with a round of antibiotics for the deeper puncture wounds.The bruises around my neck had started to fade, looking more like a lace collar, although it still hurt if I talked for too long.But I knew that movement would do me good.
I took a few moments in this new solitude to indulge myself by stomping around like a petulant child before shoving the furniture out of the way to clear a larger space in the living area.I was particularly careful when moving the table where Nilli's weaving was resting; it was intricate, the soft fabric punctuated by segments of quills in an elaborate pattern; it looked like Imightruin the whole thing if Ievenlooked at itaskanceso I gently set the table aside.
With a bigger space cleared, I went to the bed and scooped up my swords.I'd been sleeping with them next to me, which was weird and uncomfortable but made me feel a tiny bit better about my situation.
Swords in hand, space cleared, I set to work on my sequences, drifting slowly through the movements to test where I was with my healing.When I felt skin pull too tight around a cut, I eased off.I imagined that Araxis and I were in the training room during that first week, when I walked him through the sequences and he pretended not to know them.He'd blushed so prettily when I stepped in close.
Now I'd seen him kill with swords, his iridescent blades flashing in arcs of lovely violence.He didn't blush, but if killing could be pretty, then he made it that way.He was so elegant and composed in the arena.My heart pounded, thready and frantic, for every minute of thehour that was streamed from the sands, but he never made me doubt he was going to be the last one standing.
I finished the second sequence, my pulse picking up as I sped the movements up just slightly, my skin pleasantly warm under the sweater I'd been given to wear on the chilly ship.As I launched into the third sequence – one of Araxis's favourites – I heard a soft sound from the entryway.My swords finished their arc through the air, and I let them fall to my sides, glancing up.
A brin stood in the archway, head tilted, brown eyes bright with curiosity.He was shorter than me, covered in soft-looking tawny fur with darker stripes across his eyes and at the tips of the fleshy fronds trailing down either side of his head.His hands and forearms looked as if they'd been dipped in that same striking chestnut colour.He wore a short green tunic, which draped loosely across his chest and finished with a series of bangles mid-thigh.I saw the flick of his tail behind him as he smiled at me.
I liked brin as a rule of thumb.They were sociable, easy-going, and usually big into cuddling, which maybe sounds like it would be a pain for someone who got paid to fuck people – but honestly, sometimes you just wanted to be held, and it was extra nice when they were super soft and warm.
"Sashen," said the brin, his voice rich and warm.
"Are you Zirric?"I asked, gathering both swords in one hand and then setting them aside.It probably wasn't the done thing to start chatting with the spouse of the head of Creche Athal while holding swords.
The bridge of his nose wrinkled in amusement, and he trailed down the steps into the living area.His nose ended in a fleshy pad, upturned and almost black in colour."My,andhe's perceptive."
I huffed, shooting him a self-deprecating smile."Well, my choices were dancer or detective, and I really like music, so…"
Zirric walked to one of the chairs I'd shoved out of the way and plunked down into it, the hem of his tunic riding up to expose the curve of his ass.
I also liked brin because they weren't shy in the slightest.I clearly didn'tmindshy but it was also nice when clients came in and knew exactly what they wanted and were happy to ask for it.It made for efficient transactions,which generally left time for a snuggle or two.
Zirric glanced at Nilli's weaving project resting on the table near his elbow, and something complicated flickered across his expressive features."Oh, bless her, the poor thing.Her spouse died not so long ago.I didn't think she'd be working on the shroud already."
"Oh.I didn't know," I said with a sudden shiver of guilt.Shit, had I been insensitive?Had I been rude and difficult while she was grieving?I'd asked her a few things about her life, but she had been quick to brush right past them – I should have noticed."Are those… her spouse's quills?"
"Hm, yes," said Zirric, still looking at the complex textile she'd been working on."Of course you wouldn't understand the significance, not yet anyway.You should haveseenLauvis's face when you asked Araxis if you could braid his crest; I thought he might pass out.Of course, he letsmebraid his crest these days.And look –" Zirric reached into the space between us, shifting his wrist so that I could see a bracelet flashing against his fur."He even gave me a quill to wear.Who knows, your Araxis might do the same now that you've declared."He finished with a happy smile.
I sucked on the inside of my cheek, wanting suddenly to go touch the seam where I alreadyhadone of Araxis's quills hidden away.But clearly that was something private, something I didn't understand, so instead I made myself sit down in a chair shoved against the half-wall opposite Zirric.
"Oh," Zirric gasped."I was meant to tell you right away!Nilli asked if I could let you know that she's right outside the door.In case you feel that I'm being improper."
My eyebrows shot up."Uh… okay?"
His nose crinkled some more, his sharp teeth flashing."Oh, youreallydon't understand anything, do you?It's alright.Believe me, I know what that's like.Abaya are awful at explaining why they dowhat they do, or whatyou'resupposed to do, and if you get it wrong, they just get all sad and mopey like you've stepped on their tail but it's somehowtheirfault."He chortled, amused at some private joke, and tilted his head at me again.
I stared back, perched on the edge of the chair."I guess I don't," I said slowly."Understand anything, that is.And, you know, the person I'd usually ask isn't very accessible at the moment."
Zirric nodded sagely."Yes, that's why I'm here.Nilli was concerned that you were getting very distressed, and I thought if anyone on this ship knows what it's like to be plunked into the middle of abayan dynamics, expectations, and rules without a starchart, it's me.Besides," and his nose wrinkled again, "I've always thought humans were particularly cute."
My eyes narrowed, although I could feelasmile fighting to catch the corner of my mouth."See, maybe thatisimproper."
He chortled, waving a hand at me."Oh, youarecute."Then, his smile turning a little sly as his tail twitched beside him, "Too bad abaya are so hung up on sex.Otherwise, I think we could have come up with a nice way to whittle away some hours.Alas, they seem to believe that once we've declared, all other desires wither away to nothingness.It's probably for the best, anyway.Can you imagine the scandal?"
I laughed, feeling something like relief.This was comfortable, at least.Familiar.I could have this kind of conversation without thinking about it, and it was an easy way to get into deeper waters."As appealing as that might be," I admitted, "I'm taking a short break from being in the middle of any scandals.I've had my fill."
"Best not mention to anyone you were contemplating anything untoward then."Zirric's tail continued to flick, mischievous.
He was cute, and he was trouble.Thankfully, I specialized in that combination, among others.And it was a good entry point to the meat of the conversation."Well, I'm virra.It's to be expected.I assume that's why I'm under lock and key?To keep me from being too hot and available?"
Across the space, Zirric chortled, reaching to smooth the fur of his fronds down, a self-soothing gesture Devala would make after a long night of dancing."No, that's not it," he said."You've declared for Araxis of Creche Thiel.That means he hastamedyou.It's why it's such a coup for him.Although, between the two of us… that all seems a bit silly, doesn't it?Maybe that's how it works for abaya, I don't know.They definitely don't expect you're going to fuck your way through the ship, if that's what you're worried about – although wouldn't that be a sight?It's more that… your bond is new, so it might be considered a little untested."
My mouthwentdry as Zirric chattered away.Well, Araxis had said as much on the sands.He had tried to explain, hadn't he?You will be mine, always.You will be mine, first and foremost.I'd heard those words replayed enough on the broadcast overlay when I flashed up the feed for the hour on the sands each day.Did that mean he was the only person I'd ever have sex with again?I mean, I'd take it.I'd takehim.It was just a lot, really fast.And he hadn't explained any of it – really, there hadn't been time; it wasn't like he could have launched into a cultural explanation about monogamy or beingtamed, whatever the fuck that meant, while I was bleeding everywhere and the cameras were on us – but he would, I was sure.And it was better than being dead,obviously.
