The entire shape of the galaxy would be transformed.
"Holy shit," I breathed.
"Yeah," Valerie said."I know.Obviously, you can see why this is classified."
"Then why are you tellingme?"
She smiled again, mischievous."Because I think you've got potential.How would you feel about doing some light spying?"
I almost choked on my spit, and I sputtered for a moment while she watched."I'm sorry.What islightspying?"
"Look."Valerie rested her elbows on her thighs as she looked at me thoughtfully."We have people almost everywhere, feeding us information about what's going on politically in Primus.They're not all humans either – remember when you thought, back in the Tournament, that you could have played things differently by solving problems to get what you want?That's what we do: we help out and our people send us information so we have a clearer picture of what's going on galactically."
"Right."It was a good pitch, that was for sure – but I'd learned what propaganda was when I'd left Seraphim, and a well-intentioned and politically neutral human organization definitely sounded like bullshit."Really noble of you, I'm sure."
She shrugged."I don't know, when you get your start standing in opposition to an oppressive corporate regime on Earth, certain things tend to get baked into your constitution.And I mean that: I can send you our actual constitution if you like reading a bunch of people from a hundred years ago wax poetic about justice and the evils of capitalism.But you're right, we do it for a reason: Primus won't recognize Perseus as a legitimate political body yet – we're working on it, believe me, and we're getting close – and there's alotgoing on."
At my blank look, something flickered across Valerie's features that looked suspiciously like pity.She wiped it away quickly, though."It's not your fault you're out of the loop: you've been running full-tilt to keep your head above water since you escaped your cult.But we're at the precipice of a volatile time.Those ketaari land claims you brushed off, they're one part of a much bigger movement.CPEF is on its last legs.The Assembly is ready to go full nuclear with the rest of Primus, andKi-Angai has already pulled chikaari diplomats from all major stations.Fuck, even Seraphim – who are a bunch of idiots with their thumbs up their asses – knowsomethingis coming so they're out and about trying to make alliances, and failing spectacularly at that.Things are about to get very fucking dicey… and we need some status before shit hits the fan because if we don't have some sort of power, the moment Primus learns that we make perfect co-pilots, it'll be open season on humans."
She was right: I didn't have the foggiest idea about what was happening on a political scale across Primus.It wasn't like I had a lot of time to catch up on the latest developments in the inter-planetary parliament or the newest regulatory decisions, or anything beyond which alien with social status and/or a hefty credit balance had recently landed on Yellow Fin and was headed to the den, and what their predilections were.
"If I'm clueless, I'd make a fuckingawfulspy," I said then, because it still didn't make sense.
Valerie studied me carefully, chewing on her lip."No, I don't think so.You've spent your whole career eavesdropping and gathering gossip.You don't need a political science degree to know when someone's saying something juicy.And we're not trying to do anything nefarious –"
"Yes, no one whowasdoing anything nefarious wouldeversay that," I drawled.
She grinned."Yeah, yeah, I hear it now.But honestly, Sashen, hand to my heart –" And she did actually raise her hand and place it over her chest."Perseus only gathers information so we can make sure we're positioned to take care of ourselves and our allies.And we don't have anyone inside of abayan territoryand we don’t knownearly enough about their culture to make in-roads, so we'd like to work with you, if you're interested."
I studied her, trying to determine if any of this was real or if it was another trap for me to stumble into."And why exactly would Iwantto work for you?My track record hasn't exactly been stellar lately when it comes to signing on with new employers.Or doing shady shit."
Valerie's smile sharpened."The difference is that I know what you want.You want power, status, freedom, and a life well lived.And, look, I think you're going to go off with Araxis no matter what.You love him, and for what it's worth, I think he's really sorry.Iknowhe is; I've listened in on his interviews too.I like your space prince, even though he's fucked up – but there might come a day when you want a ripcord.If you decide you're done, I'll get you out, no questions asked.There's your power and freedom.And, look, you won't beworkingforPerseus,you’d be workingwithus.You know, sharinginformation you think is relevant or interesting.If it helps, that's status with us.As for a life well lived – I think you've got that covered, although if youdowant to join us at Perseus after you're done with the abayan empire, we've got trees and oceans and a slew of terraformed planets with all those animals you've watched in your documentaries.I just – I don't think your options should be Araxis or an airlock, you know?You deserve more than that particular fork in theroad."
A way out, she said.No questions asked.I didn't believe that – of course I didn't – but it might be nice to have some more options."I just don't know if I can trust you," I said finally."I don't know why I would."After everything, after she'd basically beenin my head, I figured honesty was the best policy.If anyone would know I was bullshitting, it was probably this person.
Valerie stood, nodding and rolling her shoulders in a quick stretch – such a familiar, human gesture it was almost jarring."I get it.So don't make a decision now.Take some time and think about it.Have your heart-to-heart with Araxis and see how you feel about things after that.Here's how to reach me."She flicked her wristband; my own – still disconnected from the datasphere but with local networksactive – buzzed softly against the inside of my wrist."I'll check in later,andI'm going to send you some actual shoes, just because.What you said about boots that fit being a major highlight of yourlife?Too fucking tragic."She reached and grabbed the small box from the table, jabbing at a few buttons.All at once, the pressure on my eardrums dropped away, the chorus of ship systems around ushumming and buzzing in a familiar song."It's been nice meeting you in person," she added, sticking her hand out again.
"Sure."I tookher hand again in a quick handshake before dropping my own away.She looked at the datapad and wriggled her fingers a little, so I pushed it into her waiting grasp.I didn't want to read anything else about what someone somewhere thought about my fucked up childhood and how that had made me an easy mark anyway.
"Did you want to see him now?"she asked as she stepped toward the door, datapad held between her elbow and her ribs.
I wasn't sure.My head was too full of possibilities, my thoughts and feelings too tangled.Some of that must have read on my face, because Valerie's mouth twisted into a concerned shape, the skin between her eyebrows creasing."You could wait until the morning.If you wanted a breather.Today was another long one for you – and absolutely brutal.You nearly broke my heart, just from listening."
I hated that.I hadn't wantedanyoneto listen.My teeth were working the inside of my cheek raw as I studied her and thought about everything she'd laid out.She'd heardeverything, she kneweverything, and, I don't know, some part of me just needed an external opinion on what the fuck was the best course of action.It was like I was standing in the middle of a maze and I needed someone with an aerial view to help me find my way out."You said you like him, Araxis.Do you think – I mean, what wouldyoudo?"
"Oh."Something sad flashed across her face, lightning quick, and then she huffed out a sigh."I think you were right when you said that he plays his cards close to his chest.He wants you to be proud of him; he wants to deserve you, and I think… I think he'll be tempted to keep hiding things that might upset you, believing he can dealwith them before you ever have to become aware of them.So if I were you, I'd draw up a list of my questions and I'd sit down with him and hammer out the details of what's going to happen with you two.Like negotiations, right?And, I don't know, maybe take a break from fucking him while you try to get things sorted out?We're all stupid when we're in love.And when we're having mind-blowing sex."
"Don't get ahead of yourself.The sex isfine," I said, my neck prickling with heat.God, the things I had said in that interview room – the way I had spoken about Araxis –
She raised an eyebrow skeptically."Uh huh, sure.Whatever helps you sleep at night."
But despite her knowing look, Valerie's advice was… good.It was the kind of advice someone like Silver Sea would have given me, and the comparison made me like Valerie Prior a little bit more and give a little more consideration to her proposition."Will you send me some files, about… your people?"
Her smile flashed bright and she nodded."Yeah, of course!So – should I say you're taking the night off, starting fresh in the morning?"
I agreed, and Valerie left to go speak with Justiciar Tra Fell.I was escorted back to my tiny room to stare at the wall and think carefully about the options before me.I'd wanted to chart my own course; I'd wanted to be the pilot of my own life.
Now was my opportunity to do just that.
