"We are nearly done," said Egnax around the fiddly tool she'd stuck between her sharp teeth as she held several pieces of the paneltogether."We will never be done if you stay and keep distracting our Araxis."
"Well, Ihavebeen described that way before," I admitted, delighted to watch the interplay.It felt like the most normal thing I'd seen since stepping off the shuttle."Some have gone so far as calling mequite disruptive."
"I am not distracted," Araxis huffed, reaching to grab another of the tools I didn't recognize from the floor near Egnax's knee.He twisted himself and contorted his body so that he could fit back behind the panel.I stayed for a few more seconds, admiring how his jumpsuit had rucked up around his hips and given me what could only be described as a delectable view of his ass, and then I headed off, humming under my breath.
Yeah, he definitely wanted to kiss me, and he was absolutely going to before I headed off to Thenat-6.I figured, given the state of everything, I deserved that much.
The ship was on its way later that evening; theair seemed to shift, a gentle rumble filling the empty spaces if you stopped long enough to listen.I'd kept my door open so that I could see if Araxis went by – I hoped I could lure him into a conversation or a game on my wristband, or maybe we could head down to the training room and I could show him some of the first forms – but instead I watched as an unfamiliar creche member drifted up the hallway, late in the evening.I squinted at the flash of dark in the hall: they moved quickly and silently, like drifting smoke.
And I swear I wasn't trying to eavesdrop.It wasn't like it would do me much good anyway, given that I couldn't understand any abayan at all.But a decade's worth of training in keeping an ear open for interesting information in the den, little tidbits we could relay to Alet Trident for a nice bonus in our accounts, had left me finely in tune with tone of voice in a way that generally served me well.
So when I began catching snippets of a rapid-fire conversation in abayan from the helm, I could tell it was quickly becoming anargument.I heard Araxis's voice sharpen, bright with anger, and it was that more than anything else that drew me to my feet.The other speaker, the abaya who had moved silently and was wreathed in voluminous black fabric, had a higher, pointedly even tone.But in that evenness there was something sharp, like a knife held firmly against a throat: unwavering, incisive, unemotional.
I edged closer to the doorway, listening.It probably seems stupid – again, I cannot stress the extent to which I knewnoabayan, beyond the few words for genders I'd been obsessively thinking about – but there was something about the interaction that prickled at me, like an itch I couldn't scratch.
It turns out that I had at least one good instinct, a hunch that might have helped me if I had been clever enough to actually follow it.
Instead, I just stood there, listening to words I didn't understand.And then I heard two words Ididknow – the other abaya said, quite clearly, virra, and I heard Araxis say my name in a way that was anything but sweet, edged in frustration.A sharp fluting sound echoed down the hallway, and the higher voice was precise and vicious as it rattled on for quite some time, before both fell to silence – the end of an argument, the final word being said – and then I heard footfalls.
I didn't have time to move back to the bed to make it less obvious that I'd been eavesdropping, so my instinct was instead to run headlong in the other direction, metaphorically speaking.I reached out and grabbed the ladder leading to the door as if I'd been on my way out of my room.
It worked.A moment later, the smoky figure reappeared, face a white smear above their gauzy robes.They stopped and tilted their head, peering down at me.
Ah, I knew that face from Araxis's files.This was Vivith.
"Hi," I said, palms tightening around the rungs of the ladder.And then because it was incredibly obvious that I'd heard their argument, and because Vivith's chestwas clearlyheaving beneath their dark robes,andbecause I wasobviouslyon my way out of my room andinto the hallway beyond to scope things out, I asked, mild, "Everything okay?"
Their mouth narrowed and a thin sound whistled from their nose."I gather that the children were rude to you last night.My apologies.It will not happen again.They should not go poking around where they are not needed."
"Oh," I said.Well, that was pointed.Something about Vivith's posture – hunched and curled but strangelypredatory– made my skin go cold.But I forced a smile to my face and pulled myself up the ladder so that I was standing just a few steps away, as if the proximity didn't make my skin crawl just a little."It's alright.I'm not bothered."
Vivith's dark eyes narrowed, their stare sweeping over me with what felt decidedly like disdain."Hm.How fortunate that you are so agreeable, Sashen Solar.It will make you an easytravelling companion."Something about the way they said that felt like an insult, although I didn't understand why."Rest well tonight."They inclined their head and then swept away as if they couldn't stand to be around me for another moment.
I blinked after their dark form, feeling a bit shaken for a reason I was having a hard time pinning down.I'd expected the children's caretaker to be, I don't know, more warm and fuzzy?Maybe I'd assumed Vivith would be like a mother, and clearly they weren't.And, besides, I knew from my own experience that mothers came in all types; my own had been a constant source of terror, to say nothing of the Shepherds who were charged with stewarding our souls through the trials of childhood and adolescence.
I heard a scuff further down the hallway and turned to look at Araxis, who had stepped off of the bridge.The line of his shoulders was tight, his jaw tense, but his features softened just a little when he looked at me."I am sorry you overheard that," he said quietly.
"It doesn't matter to me," I said."Family is complicated.But – "
I wanted to ask why he'd said my name.I wanted to ask if it was my fault that Vivith was upset.When he'd offered me a seat, had he sethimself up for some inevitable conflict?And if that was true, I really ought to make sure I wasagreeable, like Vivith had said, and not prickly and difficult like I'd been the night before.
Besides, if I had, by my latest calculations, just a little under four weeks to live, I didn't want to be making trouble for the alien I hoped might want to spend a bit more time with me.I didn't want my final act to be stirring up family drama.
In the end, I decided an apology was the best way forward.I exhaled, hard, and pushed a hand through my hair."I'm sorry if I'm making things difficult by being here," I said, still hovering by the door just off the metal walkway while my stomach squirmed with guilt.Having me herewasan issue; I knew enough to understand I'd been involved in that argument, even if I didn't know why."If it's easier, I can just stay in my room until we arrive?"
Araxis was stiff as he watched me, his features pinched."You are not making things difficult, Sashen," he said after a moment.His hands twitched by his sides, as if he was torn between several options, before he tucked them behind his back."Please do not restrict yourself for fear of that.You areourguest, and you aremyguest.And…" His stare slid past me, toward the end of the hallway."I should very much like those lessons, if you do not mind."His cheeks silvered, just barely visible in the dim light haloing him from the bridge.
I chewed on the inside of my cheek."I don't mind."
"I…" His dark stare flicked back to me, before he looked away again."Ishould apologize for what I said last night.It is clear that I upset you and –"
I didn't want to dwell on that."Don't worry about it," I said, firm."I was just tired and it's been a weird few days.Notbecause of you or being here.Just… you know, some life stuff.I promise I'm usually easier to get along with, and I'm really back to normal now.I'm better than normal, in fact.And I'd like to do those lessons with you."
Araxis shifted, taking a half-step forward, his head tilting."You areveryeasy to get along with," he said carefully.
He said it like there was abutcoming, some observation that would probably cut to the heart of something I didn't want pointed out – I was aware, distantly, that beingagreeablewasn't always a good thing; the way Vivith had said it made the quality sound suspicious or weak or off-putting – so I put on one of my sunniest smiles and rushed to say, "So tomorrow morning?We can start?"
Araxis inclined his head."Hm, yes.I must meet again with Evreni to re-map the day's route.We must make certain modifications based on the repair to the thermoregulator panel, but… I will find you, when I am ready?You do not need to wait in your room.The ship is yours; make yourself at home.Please: it will bring me comfort to know you are at ease."
