"But not you," I said, driving forward.
Some of the fluidity of Araxis's earlier movements was gone, and the lines around his mouth tightened."No," he said, with a little grunt as he missed a turn and had to add a couple extra steps to make up for it while I waited for the correction."We hope to petition to have our house reinstated.I have made this promise to my creche-mates.To those who remain."
Well, that was interesting.I began slowing the pace of the sequence to give him a bit of breathing room, but Araxisdidn'tslow; instead, he drove forward harder, faster, and it was all I could do to rush to meet him, whirling now through the familiar movements.Sweatbeaded against my forehead, my heart pounding hard against my chest, and when I grinned again, it was in earnest.This wasfun.I shot forward in the final move of the sequence, our blades meeting in a loud clatter, and then I dropped out of the ready position and stepped backwards, chest heaving.I tossed the blades to the side, hauling on the hem of my tank top to wipe the sweat from my forehead, my eyes stinging.
"That's a lot of pressure," I panted into my shirt."It's probably not easy."I let my shirt drop again, looking at Araxis –
And found him staring at me, lips parted, breathing hard with both swords still in his hands.His eyes seemed to have gotten stuck somewhere around my hips, and I could see the moment he realized he was staring at me as though I were a flask of water and he'd been dying of thirst.He flushed deeper, redder, and turned away, walking toward the edge of the room where he'd first gotten the blades."Yes," he said stiffly."But I am sinnenthi.This is my role."
"And what does that mean?"I asked, grabbing the other set of blades from where I'd tossed them and wandering toward him.
He still couldn't look at me, busying himself with tucking the swords into the storage compartment.He took the ones I offered without looking, carefully placing them inside."A sinnenthi is… a protector.A caretaker.Loyal.A person who cares for others by taking on the burdens of leadership."Slowly, Araxis stood, turning to look at me again.We were standing close enough that, if I let myself, I could lean forward and trap him against the wall.I could tip his head back and capture his mouth.I could pin him right there and find out what he tasted like.And, as my heart pounded still in my ears, my skin hot, sweat slick on my skin, I considered it because Iwantedto.
Something must have shown on my face.He looked over at the other wall and took a step away, reaching to run one hand over his crest to assure all of his quills were firmly in place.They were, of course, immaculate.
"Right," I ground out, watching him move.He crouched down and pulled a water ration from the bundle he'd brought down with him, tipping it back and taking a long drink."I can see that."
Araxis finished drinking and offered the bottle to me.I took it, pretending not to feel an embarrassing thrill at the idea of putting my mouth where his had just been, as though I were all of fifteen again.But something he'd said tugged at the edges of my thoughts."So what you said last night about what Creche Thiel believes about being skoshas… is that why you the Concord took your status away?"
"It was not as simple as that, but it is… close."The skin around his eyes tightened.
I took a deep swallow, handing the water back."Was someone in yourcreche skoshas or something?Or – is it just different values, and so the Concord was upset because you wouldn't fall in line?"At his startled look, I added, "I know a thing or two about what it's like to try and disagree with people in power.And about having to go on the run.You can't imagine that I ended up in a marn den after attending a career fair."I played it off like a joke, but Araxis's face took on a serious cast.
"Did you not want to be a dancer?"he asked then, frowning.
Want hadn't ever really factored into it.I shrugged, reaching out for the water again, which he handed to me thoughtlessly."I smuggled myself onto Alet Trident's shuttle.I knew she had a den.I mean, I didn't know what that reallymeant– but honestly, it's been good work.She's been good to work for."
"Hm."He studied me for a moment while I drank down more water."You are right: the Concord cannot abide dissent.But things have changed since we were exiled when Vivith and I were children.Creche Athal is a powerful house and they have successfully challenged some of the legislation the Concord pushed through.Their leader, Lauvis, is partnered with a skoshas brin, and he has insisted his spouse be admitted into the halls.There is unrest but… I believe there is room now for Creche Thiel.It is why we will make our petition soon."
Everything was starting to make more sense: Araxis was the head of a dying house, tasked with restoring it to greatness.No doubt their funds were dwindling and, if they were exiled, were they evenallowedin abayan territory?Judging from what Talvi had said, the answer wasno.They must have really pissed off some important people, and evidently they didn't want to run into any of those people.What would have happened if that ship had spotted us?What would have happened it they saw the Creche Thiel vessel and tried to board?Just how precarious was Creche Thiel's position?
It felt nice to think about someone else's problems instead of grappling with my own.
"Well, look," I said conspiratorially, "if you ever need anyone to go eavesdrop on secrets so you can blackmail some Concord blowhards, you let me know.It's one of myvery specialskills."
He trilled, amused."Hm, I think you will find that other abaya are not quite so worldly as I am, Sashen Solar.Although if you did want to dance for them, they might pass out from shock.We could take the Hall by force."
I laughed, shaking my head."You keep my contact information on hand, and when this new job is over, I'm all yours."Of course, I knew that wouldn't happen – I wasn't going to make it out of the Tournament alive – but the thought still made my chest get all tight and hot.The only way I knew how to deal with that kind of bone-deep ache was to pretend it wasn't there, to chase something brighter instead, so I reached out without thinking and slung my arm around his shoulders, pulling him in tight as I said, "But I'm going to make you buy me thesluttiestoutfits so I can really bowl them over with being, you know, whatever it was you said.Super virra.Extravirra.Legendary, maybe."
Araxis had gone very still against me, so I let him go.Whoops, that had been a bit too far.
"Sorry," I said belatedly with an awkward laugh, taking a half-step back and scooping up my own swords."I'm being gross and sweaty all over you."
"I do not mind," Araxis said slowly, although he wasn't quite looking in my direction; his hands twisted around his water ration."Asyou've said, your species is exceptional at regulating your internal temperature.It's impressive."
"Well, I've been told that it can be really off-putting if you aren't human.The kids were asking why I was wet the other night.I guess itispretty weird if you aren't used to it."
He trilled a laugh, and some of the awkwardness I felt dropped away as Araxis gathered the last of his things and we headed toward the door."I will say then what I said then: I do not find you weird.I… find you interesting.All of you."
I shot him a lopsided smile as we trailed out of the training room."Interesting," I asked mildly, "oralluring."
The moment the blush was back, I cackled and headed off to make use of Araxis's shower while he made himself scarce.
I didn't seem to notice that he'd been not just a natural with the swords, but skilled.Experienced.Probably better than me.I was too distracted by our conversation, and the way his body felt against mine, and how, when he spoke with me, all the universeseemed to narrowdown to the space between us and the way he looked at me like I mattered.So I didn't notice anything that could have helped me, until it was much too late.
Chapter 7 –Decaying Orbit
We fell into an easy pattern over the next number of days as the creche ship winked between the dark reaches of space on a course I might later describe as curiously circuitous.
