I felt myself blush –why?– and was slightly gratified to see that his cheeks had silvered too."Well, if I win, I'll be sure to hire someone to keep me fed."
Araxis carefully said nothing and turned to tend to the fritters.
"There you are, pretty boy," grated a voice from the doorway in English, which was jarring – like missing a step.A wash of cold prickled my neck as I straightened and turned to look at Grigor.He was dripping sweat, a towel draped around his shoulders, face red and shiny.Clearly, he'd been training downstairs, still in his own tatty clothes.
"You're making me blush," I drawled, leaning my back against the counter and pretending to be unaffected even as my pulse spiked.Something about him – the hard, rocky angles of his face, the lines in his forehead and around his mouth that spoke to his perpetual scowl, his simmering anger, the way he loomed and clenched his fists – screameddangerat me in a way I hadn't ever felt around aliens in ten years of living on Yellow Fin.
There was no part of my primal brain that understood aliens, and so they didn't trigger the same instinctive fear, especially when they just wanted to watch me dance and give me tips – whereas clearly my animal brain had a good grasp of the danger that a man like Grigor posed to someone like me.My body recognized him in a way that was immediate, an echo of how I'd lived on Seraphim: in justified fear.
Grigor squinted at me, his hard gray stare flicking past my shoulder to Araxis, who was entirely ignoring the situation.When Grigor spoke, it was still in English, no doubt to keep this conversation between just the two of us, and the broader galactic audience with its subtitles."You're spending a lot of time with that alien."
"I don't know why you care."I fought to keep my tone even, even though my heart was hammering in my throat and made the words feel breathy as I forced them out.
He hauled the towel from around his shoulders, rubbing it hard across his face.When it dropped back down, it revealed a sneer."It's not right, Alikander.We keep to ourselves.Seraphim respects alien cultures and ways of life, but we know they're not right for us or where we come from."His eyes flicked upwards to the tiny silver camera hovering near the ceiling, and in a flash I understood.
That had been for the audience.Was he here to, what,remediateSeraphim's image?
My stare flicked down to his chest for a moment, emblazoned with that same mining corp logo, clearly a Seraphim initiative.
"And how does mission work fit in with that?"I asked mildly, slipping into Galactic Standard and ignoring the way he had said my old name, dripping with condescension.The wordmissiondidn't translate exactly, so I used avoltaar loan word: if any word could best capture the religious fervour of Seraphim, it would be one ascribed to voltaari cults.
Grigor squinted at me as the chip in his brain interpreted the words for him.He continued in English."Seraphim is happy to share itsculture with others if they're interested.But we don't care about forcing anyone into anything."
I scoffed."Don't lie.Seraphimlovesto force people to try and be something they're not.I know firsthand."I said it in Standard, wanting Araxis to hear my half of this conversation at the very least.And, I don't know, I liked that Grigor had to struggle to try and keep up; I liked that it made him look lazy.
Grigor shifted his weight, before stepping fully into the room.Behind me, Araxiswentstill.Grigor's stare slid past me to Araxis, and then he stepped over to one of the fridges, wrenching it open and hauling out a cool bottle of water."You're the one trying to force yourself into a shape you're not supposed to be," he said belatedly, his back turned on me.He rifled some more in the fridge."Look at the lengths you've gone to: I know where you were working, so I know you've been making yourself a plaything to any paying alien since you leftSeraphim.Bending over to scrape an existence together, degraded day in and out.And now, instead of coming home, you'd rather fall all over yourself for an alien who's just going to kill you on the sands, and you're doing it for all the galaxy to watch?"He scoffed, lip curled."It's pathetic.He'll take his piece, and you'll have nothing to show for it except the stain on your soul.But you're still wanted on Seraphim, even though you've strayed.Your mother misses you.She'll be sad to see what you've become, but you could always go home and choose differently, Alikander."
There it was again, my one-time name.Grigor said it like it was an oily, greasy thing he couldn't wait to get out of his mouth.
"Why do you even care?Why dotheycare?"I asked, breathless.This time, it came out in English, unintentional.I slid away, put some more distance between myself and the hulking shape of Grigor's back.
Grigor carefully shut the fridge door, standing now within an arm's reach of Araxis, who had gone back to folding shredded filling inside of dumpling wrappers, his expression perfectly mild and unbothered.Grigor leaned his back heavily against the fridge, and I knew he'd leave a streak of sweat there.
"It's notmewho cares, pretty boy.I said, let him die on those sands – but anyone can choose redemption, even people like you."he said."We're shepherds, and it's past time you returned to the flock.Where it's safe."
"So sweet," I sneered, tucking my arms across my body."Message received.Thanks ever so much."
"Think about it," Grigor said mildly, cracking open the water and taking a long drink."We can talk more later, when you've cleaned yourself up and closed your legs."
And then, like that, he was gone.I stood perfectly still, staring at the humid outline of his body against the metal of the fridge.I barely registered the sounds of Araxis cooking, my mind simultaneously trying to travel at light speed as I processed all of that and refusing to focus on one coherent thought, so that it felt like I was watching the universe streak by as lines of coloured light outside a ship window.
Something brushed my hand and I jerked back, blinking rapidly to try and clear the haze of my thoughts, the frantic screaming somewhere in the depths of my body that I was in danger.
The endless, still dark of Araxis's eyes held mine, steady.He pressed a small cup into my hand."Drink," he said, firm.He was an anchor keeping me held in place; a lighthouse to find the way back.
I obeyed, lifting the cup to my lips and taking a slow sip of the warm tea – floral and smoky, all at once.It tasted like so many nights on thecreche ship, and maybe that was another tether pulling me out of my racing thoughts and toward what felt right, what felt like it fit.
"He's unpleasant," Araxis said quietly, stepping back to the stove and taking the final pot from the burner.He scooped out the contents of several vessels into little bowls arrayed like gems on the counter between us, gesturing with one utensil to the table behind me."Sit, Sashen."
So I did.I sat and I drank my tea, and I was quiet as Araxis set the spread of food in front of me, and I was silent as he carefully selected the best morsels to put on my plate.
I wanted to tell him everything, to translate and recount every word as best I could – but would I do that after four days?How would it look on camera?I glanced up and saw two silver orbs hovering near the ceiling.There had only been one before.No doubt they'd been drawn by the conflict and the hope that there might be more to be said.
My throat was tight as I picked at the food before me, and while part of me could register the sweet and salt, the burst of bright acid, the warmth of fat, mostly it just tasted of ash."Thank you," I managed, picking away at the food."I'm sorry.That took… some of the wind out of my sails."I paused, giving my head a little shake."Did that make sense?I – It's been awhile since I heard my first language.Things are a bit jumbled at the moment, so my metaphors probably don't make much sense."
"From an age of sailing vessels, yes?"Araxis leaned forward to pour more tea for me.I cradled the delicate cup in both hands, letting the warmth seep into my fingers."Spade is the equivalent of doldrums.I believe I understand."
Hewas,wasn't he?I exhaled, and looked up at Araxis again who was watching me back."You're not though," I offered."I like… talking to you.I just wish we'dstartedtalking somewhere else."
