When I burst through the doors into the stairwell, Araxis was waiting, his features pinched with worry."All good," I said brightly as a wild smile took me by surprise; I was flying close to the sun, I knew that, and it was exhilaratingandterrifying."I think I made him pretty fucking mad, though.Whoops.That's alright.He'll punch things until he calms down."
Araxis followed me up the stairs, casting a careful look backwards as if to assure the thing Grigor was going to punch in order to feel better wasn'tSashen’shead, from behind."You're quite certain that was wise," he said slowly, although it was a question.
Wisdom wasn't really a quality anyone associated with me."I mean,no," I admitted."But what's he going to do?It's not like he can kill meextra hardon the sands."
"Hm, true," Araxis admitted."And I have been told that you intend to slay either way, so."
I burst into slightly breathless laughter and we went our separate ways for the morning, agreeing to meet up again once we'd finished our daily interviews.When Sky Pebble asked me if there was anything else I wanted to share at the end of our interview that afternoon, I nodded earnestly."Yeah, actually.I can't imagine you've had time to review the footage yet, but – I've had a few weird interactions with Grigor Spade recently, and there's one thing I justcan't get out of my mind.It might make a good line of inquiry if you finally want to get something interesting out of him."
Sky Pebble leaned forward, his yellow eyes glinting."Oh?"
"Grigor accused me ofindulging in the sins of the fleshwith Araxis," I said the phrase in English, chasing it with an approximate translation in Standard."I keep thinking about that word choice, indulging.Generally, we only indulge in things we really want but have been denying ourselves.I can't help but wonder how he'd like to indulge himself with me.Or withus."I shrugged, feigning disinterest."He definitely talks a lot about how pretty I am, and he showed up at my room last night.He couldn't keep his eyes off me.I mean, do you think he's jealous?Or is there some repression thing going on?It might actually give you a decent angle.Just a thought."
That night in my room, when Araxis was sitting on the couch next to me, I let myself settle in close to his side and I tucked a note I'd written earlier in the hygiene room into the pocket of his pants, making sure he felt the paper crinkle.He angled his head toward me, black eyes reflecting back the glow of the screen, where Be'oi was currently engaged in a prolonged battle against evil robots from another dimension.I let my hand rest there, against his flesh of his hip."Is this okay?"I murmured.
"Yes," he said, low; in the background, Be'oiwas deliveringa rousing speech, but the words fuzzed out as I leaned closer to Araxis."Are you… a very tactile people?"
I smiled, shifting my palm to his thigh."I don't know about other humans, butIam," I admitted."Are abaya not?"I went to pull away, reluctant, but Araxis reached and caught my hand, holding it against his leg.I could imagine the hum of a dozen cameras trained on us right now.I could imagine the excitement in the conglomerate's command central.
"Inside of one's creche, we can be," he admitted."It is unusual to touch those outside of one's creche.But… any would be hard pressed to deny the touch of a virra."
I wanted then, so badly, to kiss him.I wanted to crawl into his lap and press my mouth against his and breathe the same air he was breathing, as if that would allow us to get close enough that the cameras couldn't see what we were saying to one another, as if, by touching each other, we could create our own separate world –where no one else could reach us.Could I go another day without kissing him?Could I deal with – all of this?Spinning this story out while trying to manage Grigor Spade and all of the dangers he posed?
"It feels like I've known you for so much longer than six days," I said, hoarse.His thigh was hard beneath my palm, all muscle; I let my fingers tighten, indenting his taut skin through the soft fabric of his pants.I hoped he understood me.I hoped he could read between the lines.
"Yes," he murmured, voice soft, and he released my hand.I had a moment to feel sorry for myself – it was going to be another nightof staringat the ceiling, running my fingers along the length of the quill he'd given me – before he reached to touch to the curve of my jaw.His fingers were cool against my feverish skin as he traced the planes of my face.He angled his shoulders toward me, his other hand coming to curve around my neck, steady and certain.I felt my body grow pliant under his touch, my face tilting towards his, my eyes half-lidded as I stared at him – pulse galloping along beneath the thin skin of my throat.My lips parted; Araxis leaned toward me.
And then he shifted away, his hands falling to his lap as he flushed through silver and into pink."Ah, my apologies," he said."I am being presumptuous."
Was this part of the game?Did he know we were rushing ahead of our script, or – or did he feel as caught up in this as I did?
Well, fuck it."Presume away," I said.And then, as a warning, "I'm certainly about to."In an instant, I reversed our positions, reaching to catch his face in my hands.I rocked forward and slid my mouth against his – and suddenly everything was right in the world.The whole universe snapped into alignment, gravity tilting on its axis, as if it was only by kissing him that I couldunderstandwhat I'd beenmissing in the – fuck, it had only been a week since I'd kissed him last.
He made a soft, pleased sound deep in his throat, a contented rumble, pulling me closer, his palms sliding around my waist.Some faraway voice in my mind, which sounded suspiciously like Vivith, reminded me that even if wewereahead of schedule, we couldn't gettooahead of schedule.We'd planned all of this to be plausible and play well to abayan audiences, so I knew I couldn't just go sticking my hands down Araxis's pants but –
Iwantedto.And I wanted him to stay in my bed, and I wanted him to sleep next to me, and most of all I wanted to not be on fucking galactic broadcast any longer.I didn't ever want to think about Grigor Spade again.I didn't want to think that we were getting closer to the sands, day by day; I didn't want to grapple with all the violence and gore that was waiting for us.
"Sorry," I gasped as I pulled back, my lips tingling, skin humming."I know – it's too much.I'm…eager, I guess."
Araxis's skin gleamed with that hidden iridescence, and he had to duck his head to hide his smile at that particular word.He cleared his throat."You're virra," he offered; his hands were still curved around my waist, applying a delicious, steady pressure."You do not need to apologize.You prefer kissing to killing."
I laughed, delighted."Yeah, but my timing is awful.You reallyshouldhave talked to me at the den.Or I should have talked to you.Or – I don't know.Sorry.I'm making this complicated."
"You have nothing to apologize for, Sashen."Araxis slid one hand up my back, just a little, as if reminding himself of the shape of my body.And then he let them drop away with a fluted sigh, pushing himself to his feet."It is complicated, but… perhaps we can speak more about it later.I don't mind complicated."
It was perfect; the pieces were all falling into place.When he suggested an alliance, it would makesensenow.Araxis left a few minutes later, although he lingered at the door as I lost myselfyet againin his eyes, leaning against the door frame as if I couldn'tpossibly support my own weight with my knees this weak."I'll see you tomorrow, right?"I asked.
Araxis seemed unable to look anywhere but at my lips."Yes," he said."In the training room?"
"I wonder…" I said, sucking on my lower lip, mostly just to watch the way his eyes traced the motion."Yeah, let's start there.Then I have an idea."
Later that night, I worked on my second note while sitting on the floor of the hygiene room, hiding it inside of my right boot when I emerged so that I could pull it out when the time was right.I just hoped I wasn't about to fuck everything up.
"Get the fuck away from my stuff," snarled Grigor as I stood innocently at the edge of the hot training room, toeing the hem of his Grace Mining Initiative sweatshirt.He'd left it in a messy crumpled heap while he'd been running fast laps.I shifted my boot just a little so that the corner of the piece of paper I'd tucked into the pocket was hidden.Across the room, Araxis was still practicing his forms on his own across the room – my own effort had been half-assed that morning,as I’d beenunable to think of much beyond the next step in my plan-shaped thing – butIsawhim take notice of the spike in volume,head angling in my direction.
I turned to look at Grigor as he thundered toward me."I was just looking at the logo," I protested, falling back half a step.Across the room, Araxis had gone perfectly still, left arm frozen with the blade snapped out, taut with tension."I wondered –"
"What did youwonder?"he sneered, sweat dripping from his nose."It certainly doesn't look like you've cleaned yourself up," his flinty stare dragged down my ears, to the slim cut of my clothes, "or closed your legs."He glanced, then, at Araxis, who had fallen into a ready stance.
