I let out a frustrated grunt. “I was just trying to say that while I can’t change what I do, I can change how I go about it.”
Aiden froze and I pulled away, giving him the space he needed to sit up. He stared at me, blinking like he couldn’t comprehend the meaning of my words.
I shoved my hand through my hair and tried not to get agitated with him and take out my feelings on him. None of this was his fault. He had no experience in dealing with any of this. It was up to me to make him understand.
“You’re giving up so much. Sacrificing so much. But I feel like I’m just taking from you and not giving anything in return.”
When he opened his mouth to undoubtedly rebuke my sentiment, I silenced him with a kiss.
“But there is something I can give you. You’re a cop. You have amazing instincts, whether you believe it or not, after your experience with me.”
When I shot him a grin, he rolled his eyes and shoved me away with a wet laugh.
“No, I’m serious, little bird. You do. And I can give you the gift of using those instincts to find people who have escaped justice. People who have gotten away with the most vile, heinous crimes. And I can punish them.”
Aiden’s face drained of color as I spoke and I feared I’dcome up with the worst possible solution. I’d thought being a cop, he would want to see criminals who had clearly been guilty but got away with their crimes, be punished. That he would be happy if I turned my focus from random victims to those who deserved to die.
Clearly, I had misstepped somewhere along the lines.
“Aiden?” My voice came out shaky and unsure when he still hadn’t said anything after a couple of minutes. In fact, he hadn’t even moved or looked at me.
“If I’m out of line, please tell me, little bird. And it was just a suggestion. You don’t ever have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
He looked up at me, a beautiful frown marring his face, his eyes watery and teeth digging into his teeth. Normally, that would be a big no-no, but given the way I’d just sent him into a tailspin, I figured I could let it go that once.
“Yo-you want me t-to find your victims?” His lip trembled and he caught it between his teeth. For once, I didn’t pull it back and scold him.
I smoothed his hair away from his face. “Don’t think about it like that, little bird. Think of it more like I want to save the rest of the people who are sharing in this miserable existence.”
The questions were there, rapid firing in his eyes. Along with horror and just a touch of intrigue. It was obvious a part of him was more comfortable with me only killing people who were truly evil and deserved to die.
Made things palatable. But if it was something he truly didn’t want a part in, then I wouldn’t force him. I’d never force him. “If you would rather I do it alone, I will. It’s something I’m used to doing alone. But I thought maybe you would want to be a part of this and make sure they truly deserved it.”
I almost felt guilty for the war that clearly played out across his face.
Almost. But this was a part of me. And if he was going to bewith me, then he needed to be comfortable with all parts of me. Not necessarily being an active participant, or even discussing my victimology, but in having the knowledge of who and what I was.
Or we were going to be doomed before we ever really had a chance.
And I wasn’t going to let that happen, not if it was up to me.
It was time I showed my little bird just what he meant to me as I scooped him up in my arms, ever mindful of his healing wounds, and took him up to what would still be our bedroom for the next three weeks.
The deadline loomed over us, and it was longer than I was comfortable with, but I needed to give him time to work on his parents to get them used to the idea that he was moving away and they wouldn’t see him as often as they were used to.
I’d give him the holidays, Christmas and New Year’s. Hell, I’d give him anything.
But I liked his parents and his sister, and I didn’t want to hurt them either, with Aiden moving away. So, I was happy to be able to give them all one more holiday season together before we left. After that, their time together would get briefer and briefer.
Sure, there would be a few visits for the first year or two. But slowly, he would be forced to make them fewer and farther apart. I knew it was going to kill him, but knowing his love for me was that strong left the heart I’d thought to be long-dead beat rapidly in my chest.
I gently lowered him onto our bed, nipping along his jaw as I did. The moan he let out went straight to my cock that ached to plunge back into him. But I had to refrain. He was still healing and the last thing I’d do was hurt him even more than I already had.
After making sure he was comfortable, I helped him get out of his heavy sweatshirt. When he grimaced as I tugged it overhis head, I pulled up his undershirt, silencing his protests with a single raised eyebrow.
He let out a huff, but leaned back on the bed, letting me inspect the wound. The stitches had started to dissolve and there was no redness or sign of infection, which was good. All the swelling had gone down as of a few days ago, which I had been relieved to see.
“Do you need any painkillers, little bird?”
