“What if I want to?” I asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.
His breathing picked up, but only slightly, before he turned to face me. I wasn’t sure what he was looking for as he searched my eyes for the answer to his unasked question.
“Nate,” I said softly.
He hummed. “Why do you call me that?”
I pulled back from him, my eyes furrowed. “I…I’m not sure. Doyou not like it?” The more I thought about it, after he asked, I realized he’d introduced himself as Nathan and I just jumped right into calling him Nate, not even bothering to find out what he preferred to be called. “I’m sorry. I don’t have to?—”
His lips cut me off, stopping me mid-ramble, for which I was grateful.
“I like it coming from you. Or Daddy.” He looked away, the words so low I almost didn’t hear them. “Which is weird, because normally I don’t like nicknames.”
I ignored the Daddy thing for the moment and smirked. “Really? I wouldn’t have guessed from the way you keep calling melittle bird.”
Nate scoffed. “That’s different.”
“How so?” I asked, laughing at his ridiculousness. “It’s still a nickname.”
He crossed his big, bulky arms over his chest and tried to level me with an intimidating glare. But it wasn’t working.
“It just is.” And with that, he turned back around and moved under the spray to wet his hair, effectively ending the conversation.
I rolled my eyes and grabbed the shampoo left out by housekeeping and reached up to massage it into his scalp. He let out a low groan that had my dick twitching. Once he had the shampoo rinsed out, I concentrated on lathering up the bodywash and spreading it all over his body.
When I was done, he maneuvered me so we switched places and he gave me the same treatment.
“How did you get these?” he asked quietly, running his hand up my left side again.
I went still and tried to move away, but there was nowhere for me to go—not in the small confines of the hotel shower.
“Don’t,” I said, voice stern as I pushed his hand away. “It was something that happened a long time ago. I don’t even reallyremember it. And I definitely don’t talk about it, or think about it.”
My head turned away. It was the only way I had to hide in the small space. I refused to feel like a victim when I was with him. I wasn’t that lost boy anymore, no matter how fucked up my brain and body still were.
“Don’t,” I repeated softly.
Nate just stared at me for a moment, as though trying to figure out what to say to my mini outburst. I didn’t think he was going to say anything else on the subject, as he turned off the water and grabbed a towel to dry me off. When we were dry, he led me back to the bed, where he stripped the dirty sheets and got out the extra linens from the closet to remake the bed.
“You shouldn’t hide yourself. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. We all have our scars. Some are just more visible than others. Do you know what scars are?” he asked as he got into bed behind me, pulling me flush against his chest.
I shook my head.
He kissed the spot right behind my ear before whispering, “They’re a reminder you survived, little bird.”
5
NATHAN
Ighosted my fingertips over his skin, barely caressing his heated flesh. There was an itch under my skin to take him, claim him, mark him. To make him mine and never let him go.
My little bird.
But I had to be careful not to wake him as I pulled my clothes back on from the night before. In the end, the disguise to get into the wedding hadn’t been necessary, but I couldn’t find it in me to care that I had killed an innocent man for nothing.
There wasn’t much at all in this world that I cared about.
Except him.
