As soon as the words left my mouth, I snapped my mouth shut and looked away, unable to meet her eyes.
Of course, Victoria wasn’t one to miss anything. “Then why are you blushing brighter than a firetruck?”
Her words struck me dumb. While there were a lot of things to unpack about that night, work wasn’t the place to do that. I shifted in my seat, suddenly uncomfortable.
Looking around, I made sure no one was nearby or paying any attention to us. My sudden need for privacy had her perking up and scooting closer.
I swallowed, my throat dry as I almost choked on the confession. “He had me call him Daddy.”
“Oh.” Victoria sat back, the surprise clear on her face. I was sure she hadn’t expected anything like that. I knew I sure as hell hadn’t. Not to mention, she probably was surprised I even admitted to something like that. It was way outside the scope of our usual topics. At least, for me. It was nothing for her to talk about stuff like that. But I was more private and didn’t usually talk about things like that.
Then again, it wasn’t like I usually had those sorts of topics to bring up.
She schooled her expression and leaned her elbows on her knees, face serious as she looked at me. “So, from the way it’s got you all flustered, I take it that’s something new for you?”
I threw my hands up in defeat. While part of me was annoyed that talking about this was the last thing I wanted to do, I knew I wouldn’t have brought it up if I didn’t want to talk about it withsomeone. And Victoria was the only one I had who I could talk to about something like this. I shot her a desperatelook, hoping she would just drop it, but also hoping she wouldn’t.
She wasn’t my best friend for nothing. So, of course, she refused to let it go.
The woman had no pity on me. She waited me out until I gave in and offered her an embarrassed nod.
“Okaaaay,” she said, drawing in a deep breath. “I mean. You know I’d never kink shame you. And I’m assuming you liked it. So, I’m not seeing the problem?”
A sound of frustration escaped past my lips. “The problem is that he… he… he putthatidea in my head, had me call himthat, and then just ghosted me. And now, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. Should I find out more about him or do I let it go as a casual one-night thing?”
My fingers tugged at the too-long strands of my hair in frustration. I wasn’t used to dating or hookups. So, of course, when I did finally hook up with a guy, he had to make me question everything I thought I liked and wanted. And not just about relationships in general, but about myself. But then he wasn’t actually there to help me navigate it.
It made me realize maybe he was one of those guys who only thought it was hot to be called that in bed and weren’t up to actually holding the title. Because from what little information I’d gleaned from my late-night self-loathing searches that I refused to admit ever happened, Daddies were supposed to be there to care and support their boys or littles. Not leave them floundering in the midst of an identity crisis.
Fuck.
I really didn’t need that in the middle of a work week.
Vic squeezed my arm, grounding me and helping to pull me out of my spiral. “Hey. It’s okay. Maybe he’s not the guy for you, but there are still lots of guys out there. And even if he isn’t the one for you, maybe you were meant to meet him so he could help you discover that part of you. Andthatis why youhaven’t been able to find Mr. Right yet, because you were looking at the wrong kind of guy.”
I tilted my head in consideration. Sure, it was possible. But something in my gut didn’t believe that.
It was Nate. He was meant to be my Daddy. The little figurine on my desk was proof of that, even if I couldn’t tell Victoria about that. She’d think I was crazy. Worse, she would thinkhewas crazy.
Fuck. What if he was?
I shook off the thought, not ready to deal with that rabbit hole just yet.
But I needed to find him. I needed to talk to him and we had to hash this out. There were questions that only Nate could answer. Though, I wasn’t sure if it would be a good idea to show my hand and let him know that in one night I might have become just as obsessed with him as he seemingly became with me.
“Cooper! Coleman!” Chief Vasquez’s voice boomed from his office, startling me back to reality.
“Yes, Chief?” Victoria asked as she sprinted into his office. I let out a chuckle. It seemed she was eager to get back to solving murders after her week of tedium at her cousin’s house.
Though, I didn’t know how anyone could consider wrangling a ten-year-old to be tedious. Just the thought of it gave me a headache.
I slowly walked into the room and hooked my thumbs in my belt loops as I leaned against the door. “What do you have for us?”
Chief Alex Vasquez tossed a file folder onto the desk and gave a sneer.
“There’s another one. Seems to line up with the other two you have. Not sure if it’s connected to the Loretti case or not. You’d have to check with OC for what they have. But from what I can see, there were some similarities.”
He let out a huff and my eyes went wide, seeking out Victoria to see her response. For the most part, we’d been able to keep the similarities of the other two victims out of the media’s frenzy. The last thing we needed was a panic. But three murders all with the same MO?
