A soft intake drew my attention to the other end of the hall. My head slowly turned toward the sound as my boy went still as a statue in my arms. There wasn’t even a soft breath panting against my neck. A low vibration shook him, one I would have barely noticed, if I hadn’t had him wrapped so tight against me.
His mother stared, wide-eyed. Neither of us broke eye contact for a long moment. Until Aiden dropped from my arms.I reached for him as he turned and walked stiffly away, evading my silent plea. Without a backward glance, he darted out the front door like the devil was chasing him. The heavy door slammed behind him, making me wince.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Ellie seemed uneasy as she looked away, wringing her hands together.
I could feel my mask slipping, the image of my little bird embarrassed and terrified as he fled from his own mother. He was mine to protect, to cherish, and I’d already failed him. Against hismother.
My eyes narrowed as I took in her flushed appearance and the way she wouldn’t look at me. Her eyes kept darting back toward where I assumed the kitchen was, like she was hoping for her husband to come and save her from this awkward situation.
While I understood that the whole Daddy thing was a kink and that most people didn’t like it flashed around and that seeing it was awkward, I didn’t have the capabilities to understandwhyit was awkward. I wasn’t wired that way.
To me, I just wanted to take care of my little bird, to be there for him, provide for him, guide him, protect him. That made me his Daddy. It just was. It was a fact, like the sky is blue.
But normal people didn’t see it that way. So, as his Daddy, I knew it was up to me to fix it somehow, though God knew I was the last person who should have been sent to deal with something emotional like what Aiden was going through. But it was part of taking care of him, and I’d do it.
“There isnothingwrong about what you just saw or heard.” I crossed my arms and leaned back against the wall, daring her to contradict me. The last thing I wanted was to be the cause of a rift between Aiden and his parents, or the cause of an unfortunate accident. He deserved better than that.
At least she had the decency to look embarrassed.
“I know that.” While her words may have tried to convince me, her tone didn’t sound so sure.
I glanced toward the door, knowing my car was locked and that meant my little bird was out in the cold. My hand rooted around my pocket for the keys as I cast another glance toward his mother, who looked like she had finally begun to realize the damage she had inflicted on her son.
Her shoulders straightened as she looked me in the eye. After taking a deep breath, her bottom lip wobbled, but it did little to move me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass or upset him. I just didn’t expect…” Her words trailed off with a sigh. “We don’t talk, not really. Not about important things. And I guess I can’t blame him for not talking to me about something likethat. It just came as a bit of a shock that he was into that sort of thing.”
She offered me a sad smile as she bit her lip before glancing back at the door. “But as long as he’s happy, and being safe, and whatever he is doing is consensual… Well, then, who am I to tell him what he can or cannot do?”
I stared at her, unsure if she meant it, but hoped for Aiden’s sake that she did. His family meant the world to him.
“But I’m glad he has someone who cares about him, looks out for him.”
“I’ll always look out for him.” It was a promise I could keep, even if there came a day he thought he could get rid of me.
Like a balloon with a hole, she deflated before my eyes. Her shoulders sagged and she leaned against the wall. With a nod, she looked away, obviously fighting back tears. “I’m not sure how much he’s told you, and I won’t go into details because it’s not for me to decide what he wants someone to know. But he went through hell when he was younger. And he deserves someone now, who will take care of him. Even if he thinks he doesn’t need it.”
I opened my mouth to say something but quickly closed it.There was nothing I could tell that woman that would make any of what he went through better. And just like she didn’t want to betray what he went through, it wasn’t any of her business, the things we had talked about, the things we’d gone through.
“Well, I better go check on him.”
Ellie nodded, straightening up from the wall, and started to leave. But before she left, she turned back to me. “Tell him I’ll keep breakfast warm until he’s ready to come back in.”
I studied her for a moment and wondered if she truly thought he would come back in or if she was fooling herself. But I didn’t know enough about their relationship to comment. “I will. But understand, if he wants to leave, then I’m taking him home. He’s my first priority over breakfast.”
She nodded. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
It felt like a trap as I walked out the door. My heart sank as I found him pacing next to the car with his arms wrapped around himself, shivering. He stopped when he saw me, but he didn’t come to me or lift his head to look at me, and that wouldn’t do.
“Little bird?” My voice was soft as I approached him, careful and slow despite the way my brain screamed at me to pull him close and claim him and never let him go.
The last thing I wanted was to spook him.
When I stood in front of him, I reached out and lifted his face with a finger tucked under his chin. His tears had frozen to his cheeks, causing the skin to get irritated and red as the ice crystals clung to his chilled flesh. My palms framed his face, thumbs caressing his cheeks in an effort to warm them even a little.
“I’m so fucking embarrassed.” There was a devastation to his voice that I didn’t understand. “Why… Ofcourseshe would have to walk in at that moment.”
Aiden pulled out of my arms and began pacing next to the car again.
