The perfect submissive.
But notmysubmissive.
No matter how much I knew he still wished it were true.
Though, maybe not anymore, depending on how much he had just witnessed. And he left me with a dilemma I never thought I’d be faced with, whether or not I needed to kill someone I knew for discovering my secret. Because I never thought I’d care enough about someone to think twice about killing them.
While I might not want a relationship with Christian like I did with Aiden, I did find that a part of me cared about what happened to him. He had become one of the very few people who I could count on one hand that I ever gave a fuck about.
And I didn’t like it.
I released his arm and tucked the gun back in its holster. “Why are you here? You must have followed me? Why?”
Christian looked up at me, tears in his eyes, but he didn’t shed them. He knew they didn’t work on me. “I’m sorry, Nathan. I… You had me worried.”
He shook his head and looked away. Except, his gaze landed on Jared’s dead body and his face paled. “Oh, God.”
My hand cupped his chin and forced him to look up at me. “He can’t help you, Christian. No one can.”
The whimper he let out went straight to my cock. But he wasn’t prey, wasn’t a victim. Christian was a friend. A war raged in my mind as to what I was supposed to do about him. He knew too much, but for once, I didn’t have the driving need to kill someone, even for self-preservation.
“Why were you worried?” I couldn’t think of anything thatwould have caused him to tail me to the warehouse and stay long enough to watch me commit a murder. Then again, once he was inside, it would have been difficult to get out without being seen.
He pulled his head out of my grasp and shut his eyes as he let his head fall, unable to look at me. “You’ve made reckless decisions. Put off business meetings, left the office early or showed up late. Normally, you’re calm and collected, but you’ve been snapping at everyone. Unprofessional and brash.”
When he finally looked at me, there was a wounded look in his eyes that tugged at a part of my heart I thought would never feel for another person. It wasn’t like how Aiden made me feel, and it wasn’t how my victims made me feel either. I didn’t like it. There were too many new sensations and feelings overtaking my body recently and it was overwhelming.
I couldn’t do this, not now, not with him.
When I opened my mouth to protest, nothing came out.
But that couldn’t have been true, could it? I prided myself on treating my employees with respect and dignity, even when they got under my skin, which was rare.
“You lock yourself away, Nathan. I can’t get you to talk about it. Instead, you just sit tucked away in your office, brooding. Or you leave for hours with no one able to get a hold of you.”
Christian heaved a sigh and finally looked back up at me, shoulders held back, spine straight. “You’ve been an asshole the last week,” he said with a scoff. “But, at least now I know you’re somewhat human and have feelings, and that it’s all about a boy.”
His bravado left him as quickly as he found it. Sucking in a breath, he tried to swallow but choked, the tears finally leaking out of the corner of his eyes.
“A boy you would apparently kill for, or because of… or fuck, I have no idea.”
I could see him beginning to unravel and I had no idea howto fix any of this. There was no guidebook on how to come out as a serial killer to your friend.
Maybe I should write one. It would probably be a best seller. In fiction, of course.
“Shit. You should have justasked, Christian, instead of following me.” Now, he’d created a much bigger mess, one I wasn’t sure how I was going to clean up.
A brittle laugh escaped from his dry throat. “I tried. You were so wrapped up in whatever all the fuckthisis, that you didn’t want to hear what anyone had to say, not even me. Hell, maybe especially not me, if you were so wrapped up in losing whoever it was that you were seeing that I didn’t even know about.”
Jealousy didn’t look good on him, but I couldn’t blame him. I had left him out of the loop. But I knew he was still wrapped up and interested in what we had and I hadn’t wanted to lead him on or make feel bad. I second-guessed that decision once I had him face-to-face with one of my victims, thinking it might have been better to have had him to confide in, to talk to him about my problems with Aiden.
“I’m sorry that I shut you out, Christian. It wasn’t fair, especially since you have always been the only one in my life I could talk to about these things.”
“Not everything.” His gaze darted back over to Jared and he grimaced. The disgust was written across his face but so was the acceptance of his fate.
I bit my bottom lip, again wrestling with the decision I was being forced into. With a shake of my head, I looked toward the ceiling, as though there were going to be some divine intervention giving me guidance. “Ireallywish you didn’t follow me, Christian. This was something I never wanted to be faced with.”
“Sorry,” he said with a cocky grin I knew he didn’t feel.
