There was still the option of fleeing, but every moment I spent with him, that seemed less and less likely. No matter how much he didn’t want me, I still couldn’t find it in me to desert him.
With that thought, I couldn’t fall asleep. Instead, I lay there, watching his fitful sleep, and wished he looked peaceful.
More than that, I wished I could undo everything I had done to hurt him. But that was beyond my capabilities.
Just as dawn broke, I gave him another shot of the painkiller and gathered everything I’d ever left behind, removing any trace that I’d been there. Before I left, I took one final look at him and smoothed his hair out of his face.
“Be well, my little bird. I love you,” I said as I leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his lips.
32
AIDEN
Fire. I felt like I was being consumed by fire.
Every time I moved, the pain in my side felt like it was going to engulf me, consume me, destroy me. Or, maybe that was just my wishful thinking.
Since I woke, I’d felt like I had been living a nightmare I couldn’t escape no matter how much I tried.
When I first woke up in my bed, I’d been terrified and confused, wondering where Nate was. I had remembered being with him, that something had happened, something bad. But the details were foggy and I couldn’t remember what had me so scared.
I didn’t know where my Daddy was. It wasn’t like him not to still be in bed with me when I woke.
Then, I moved to get up, and the searing pain cleared the fog away. With a gasp, I sat there, partially hyperventilating and partially dry-heaving as the memories assaulted me. Instead of clarifying the situation, I’d only been left more confused.
I didn’t understand why I was alive, or in my own bedroom, for that matter. As I’d passed out, I had been so sure Natewould kill me—that he’d technically already had, and my body just had to catch up.
Now, I just wished I were dead. I felt like I was. My body was a living ghost walking in the shadows of my life, not really living my life, or registering anything that was going on around me. It wasn’t as though any of it mattered anymore anyway.
I gingerly made my way through the house, needing to stop every few steps to take a break due to feeling winded and waiting for the pain to subside. Not that it ever went away. He must have given me something strong, though, because it got worse as time went on. But as I went through the house, there was no sign Nate was still there, waiting for me.
And I wasn’t sure how to feel about that, which was all sorts of fucked up. But there was a part of me that was pissed off that he had done this to me and then just left me alive and alone to deal with it by myself.
He had to have been the one to leave me in bed because nothing looked out of place. Even my car was in the driveway.
And there was no way I had driven myself home.
What the hell happened?
I didn’t know what sort of twisted and fucked-up mind game Nate thought he was playing, but I didn’t appreciate it. Did he expect me to thank him for not killing me? That I wouldn’t turn him in just because he had spared my life?
Well, he could go to hell.
I paced around my living room the best I could, grabbing onto furniture and anything sturdy enough that would help keep me on my feet, until I was too tired to keep standing—which, in my condition, didn’t take long at all. But the movement, the pattern of my steps, helped me to think.
At least, until my thoughts consumed me and were too much. They took me in a dark direction I didn’t want to think about and I shut down. Nothing mattered anymore. I was fucked.
The first thing I should have done when I woke up was call it into the station. To report I knew who the killer was and I was injured, needing medical assistance. Instead, I did nothing except ignore Victoria’s calls. Though, I did call my captain and took a couple sick days so I could heal a little bit before heading back into work.
Thankfully, I had a three-day rotation off, so I’d only missed one day so far.
But I knew eventually, Victoria would get tired of me ignoring her and show up before I even had to report back to work. But until then, I needed to figure out what I was going to do. I needed a plan, because there was no way Nate was going to let me go. I knew too much.
Which begged the question why he even went through this charade to begin with. We didn’t have any evidence he toyed with his victims like this before he killed them. So, it didn’t make any sense. Leaving me alive, alone, with access to resources, it almost seemed like a test in trust.
But that couldn’t be right. Because he had to have been long gone by now. And I still had no idea what the fuck I was doing.
It had been four days since I’d discovered Nate’s secret, and I was no closer to deciding anything. I was also uneasy, because it had been four days and he still hadn’t made a move against me. And I still didn’t know why he had brought me home and then disappeared.
