“Don’t say that.”
Suddenly I feel so, so sad. “I’m a scientist, and everything I do is tied to evidence, not faith.”
“I get that.” She smiles. “So think about the evidence you do have. The time we’ve spent together. We’ve had fun, haven’t we?”
“You could have faked your orgasms, Maddie. I’d never know.”
“Jeez, I’m not that good an actress.”
“Don’t make me laugh. I’m not in the mood.”
“Are you in the mood for this?” She takes the hem of her tee in her hands, peels it up her body, and drops it to the floor.
I inhale at the sight of her pale skin, her full breasts, her light-pink nipples that are soft in the warmth of the room. Her chest rises and falls as she breathes fast. I know it took courage for her to do that.
“I want you,” she says simply. “This is the evidence. Do you want me too?”
I tear my gaze from her breasts to look at her face. Ah, fuck. What does it matter, in the end? The future is ephemeral, shadowy; there’s only today, this minute, this second. And right here, right now, I want her.
I cup her face and crush my lips to hers.
She gives a deep, shivery, thankful groan and lifts her arms around my neck, kissing me back with enthusiasm. I tip my head, my lips slanting across hers, and delve my tongue into her mouth, demanding rather than asking. At the same time, I turn her and push her up against the kitchen counter, then slide my hands down her body. Her skin is warm, and her breasts sit in my palms, heavy and soft. I take her nipples between my fingers and tug them, and she breaks from the kiss to exclaim.
Briefly, I think: am I taking control here? Or am I being manipulated again? Women know the power of their bodies, and she wouldn’t be the first to use it to get what she wanted.
But I want her. I can’t deny it. And the hunger is so strong, I can’t push her away.
“I don’t care,” I say fiercely, sliding an arm around her to pull her against me so she can feel my erection. “I don’t care whyyou’re here or who sent you or what they think they’re going to get out of it. This is all that matters.”
“Yes,” she says, her breath whispering across my lips. “Screw them all.”
“Screw them all.”
“Fuck me, Caesar.”
I don’t need any further incentive. I pull down her track pants and underwear and help her out of them, then lift her onto the tiny kitchen counter.
She’s all I want, and nothing else matters.
Chapter Seventeen
Maddie
I’m so relieved that Caesar hasn’t just walked out that I have to fight not to dissolve into tears.
He strips his clothes off in seconds, and then his mouth is on mine again, and I slide my hands into his hair, desperate to show him that my feelings are real. I can’t bear for him to think I’m lying about that, or about wanting him. I haven’t lied about my feelings.
I haven’t told him about the baby. But that’s not lying—that’s being economical with the truth.
Keep telling yourself that, I think at the back of my mind,and you might start to believe it.
It’s all I have to cling to, though, as he kisses the living daylights out of me, his hands grazing over my skin. I already know nothing can come of this relationship. Our families and companies will always remain between us. I’ll never be able to confess the pregnancy, and we’ll never be a blissfully happy couple, enjoying our own happily ever after. It crushes me, but I’m smart enough to know when I’m beaten.
No, this is all I have, this moment in time in the little cottage, and even though I know every time I come back here, this is all I’ll be able to think about, I can’t help myself. Caesar is a part of Blackridge Station now, part of the hills and paddocks and sheep and beautiful landscape, because he’s a part of my heart, whether I want him to be or not. I’ve fallen for him, and it’s my own fault, because I’m the one who’s lied.
But I did, and it’s done, and now all we have is this, so I’m going to make the most of it.
His kisses slow, maybe as he comes to the same conclusion, his tongue sliding languorously against mine, his hands cuppingmy breasts, gently squeezing. I part my legs and pull him toward me, sighing as I feel his erection so hard and ready for me against my stomach. I move my hips, so I can feel the base of it nestling against me, and he groans in response and gives small thrusts, arousing me each time he moves.
