Yaaf came around the side of the bench and sat beside her, so close that his thigh was pressed against hers.
Sullha didn't feel the urge to inch away. On the contrary. She savored the warmth, the solidity of him, the fact that he was here with her, alive and well.
"It is done," he said. "Everything worked out perfectly according to plan. Once the news spreads, everyone will believe that Lord Navuh killed his sons for breaching his sanctuary."
He'd sounded so matter of fact about it, as if the execution of three Brotherhood leaders was nothing more than an information-gathering mission.
She didn't know if he'd killed before, or even if he'd been the one who'd actually done it, or if it was one of his teammates. If it was his first time, he must be struggling with guilt, and she didn't know how to help him.
"Are you alright?" she asked quietly.
He seemed confused by her question, looked down at his pristine uniform, then looked back up at her. "Why wouldn't I be okay?"
"Have you killed before?"
He nodded.
Sullha hadn't known that. She'd assumed Yaaf hadn't killed anyone because he'd told her he'd not been deployed, but maybe it was during the rebellion?
"I'm asking if you are alright because killing must be hard on the soul. At least I think it is. Maybe I'm wrong."
He arched an eyebrow. "Haven't you ever imagined killing the men who hurt you?"
The question hit her like a slap.
She'd imagined it many times, lying in her bed after a rough session and fantasizing about stabbing those who'd hurt her while they looked at her with horror on their cruel faces, realizing that she was the bringer of their death.
Sometimes she'd imagined that she died and returned as an avenging angel, killing everyone who had ever hurt her or any other girl. She would have felt no remorse, no guilt, she would have been doing the work a benevolent god should have done.
The fantasies had helped her get through many rough nights.
"I have." She looked into Yaaf's eyes. "Plenty of times."
"Sometimes the killing of the few is a mercy to the many. If those three managed to take rule of the island from Losham, they would have torn it apart. The army would have splintered, and everyone would have suffered, including the women in theenclosure, those working in the kitchens, tidying the rooms, and even those working in the brothel. The vulnerable are always the first victims of upheaval. By eliminating those three, we saved many lives and prevented a lot of suffering. I do not regret any of the killings I have done, and I do not regret these. Those three were evil, and the world is a better place without them."
Given that Yaaf could have entered their minds and read their thoughts, she didn't doubt his assessment of Navuh's sons. She didn't even want to know what he'd seen in there because she had seen enough darkness in her life and didn't need to add even worse things to the sludge sitting at the bottom of her chest cavity.
Still, was Losham any better?
She let out a slow breath. "You must have a lot of faith in Losham."
He shrugged. "He's the lesser evil because he's at least logical and he's not a sadist."
"That's not an enthusiastic endorsement."
"It's not, but that's the best we could have done for the island. Someone needs to hold things together, and there is no better alternative that we can think of."
She didn't have an opinion on that because she knew next to nothing about the power structure on the island, other than that Lord Navuh ruled everything and everyone with an iron fist. But now he was gone, and Losham had replaced him, and Yaaf was saying that there was no one better.
She let out a breath. "How are the others?"
"The others?"
"Your friends. Your team. After the operation. Are they all right?"
He tilted his head. "Why do you care? They are strangers to you."
She blinked. "They are your friends. I care about your friends because you do."
