His egg donor had done that.
It was a hard rule for Callen.
Married meant married.
Ethan continued.
“Until you and I both move on, maybe get married, have some kids, and then it’ll be an option. Us here together…it’s a bad idea because if I didn’t love Gene, and have him, I would absolutely do it. I know me. I know us.”
At his words, Callen closed his eyes.
“Had we not been born joined at the DNA, there would be no question,” Ethan admitted. “Only, we are, and I left because I had feelings. You deserve to know that. I have them too, and the lure…it’s too big. Had things been different, we weren’t brothers, and we met here…I never would have left. I know I would have been happy with you.”
Tears filled Callen’s eyes.
“The happiest moments of my life were with you, CJ. You are theONLYthing on the rez that made or makes me happy. You deserve to know that.”
Ethan wiped the tears that fell from his lashes.
“You shared the truth with me, and I’m giving it back to you. Hopefully, it helps you heal.”
Callen knew this was goodbye.
“One day, come back, EJ. When you can. I can keep this buried. But don’t come back until you’re ready. I’m strong enough to keep it to myself.”
And that was proof.
Ethan wasn’t strong enough. For love, he’d give up the FBI and his life outside of the rez, but he couldn’t because he’d found love with Gene.
Callen was just so much stronger than he was.
“I love you, CJ. I have always loved you. From the day Grandad brought you home, to this very moment. It’s here,” he said, touching the raven on his chest, and then the fox tattooed on his brother’s abs.
Yeah, it was goodbye.
“Timothy is going to know. What do I tell him?” he asked. “I’m defective. I lust after my own brother. He’ll hate me like I hate me.”
He wouldn’t.
How did he know?
Timothy likely already knew. That’s why he told Gene to get him out of here. As usual, the Shaman was up in the smoke, creating mayhem.
Instead of saying anything, Ethan took his face in his hands and gave him a kiss. It was soft, gentle, and the last thing he could give Callen.
It was clear that his brother hadn’t expected it but needed it. Ethan could feel his tears drip onto his face.
When he broke the kiss, Callen closed his eyes, memorizing that one moment.
It was sweet and devastating all at once.
It was definitely goodbye.
Ethan tucked Callen’s hair behind his ears.
“We can’t be. As far as anyone knows, we have beef over you cheating with my girlfriend all those years ago. Let’s keep it at that so no one has to know.”
Callen opened his eyes.
