Gene knew he was being serious, and he knew that he needed to be careful.
They were in tender-heart territory.
As he lay there, playing with some of Ethan’s hair, he shared the best way.
“Just be yourself. We’re not going to be the same person, EJ. Why do you assume I want to be in a relationship with myself?” he asked.
Ethan didn’t answer.
“Maybe, we’re like the way we are because we needed that to be whole. You look at me and say I’m better than you, but I look at you and see the qualities that I would kill to have.”
He laughed.
“Neurosis? Anxiety? Crippling depression?” he joked.
Gene lifted his chin.
“Gentleness. Realness. Compassion. Sensitivity. I can be obtuse and blunt, but you look at people differently. You study them and see them in a unique way. I wish I could look at a person and see what you see. I am cynical, and you see beyond that. Don’t be me, EJ. Be you. I don’t want to be in a relationship with myself. I love you as you, and you’re the best mate for me.”
He stared into Gene’s eyes.
“Thank you for that.”
The big man nuzzled him with tenderness and protection.
“Huggy-bear doesn’t need thank yous. He just needs you,” he admitted.
Ethan got quiet, and for a few seconds, Gene believed that he was still upset.
“Ask,” Gene said. “I can feel you hesitating, and I can’t help you if you don’t share what is going on in your head.”
He trusted him.
So, he shared.
“It’s not about what we just discussed.”
Oh, well, then, he didn’t know what it would be about.
Ethan went there.
“Before we head out, can you go check on Callen?” he asked. “Can you make sure he’s okay. I don’t have it in me. I said all I needed to, and I have to detach, or I won’t be able to.”
That was nothing.
Gene would absolutely do that for him. It was the least he could do to help Ethan if he was struggling.
Gene kissed him on the temple.
“Can do, my love.”
Ethan was grateful.
“Tell him Granddad is aware, and to get his ass there. I need to not deal right now. I saved Callen this time, but I’m not strong enough to be responsible for his actions. I struggle more often than not.”
He held him.
“Okay, but can I ask a question?”
