He knew he’d likely never come back.
With his man, he had to cut things off like a cancer if they hurt him, and this place…
Well, it ate away at his soul.
So, as they drove through the reservation, heading to the one sacred place, Ethan was silent.
In his lap was a dozen red roses.
It was time to see his mom one more time.
“Do you want me to come with you?” he asked. “I’ll do it, or I won’t. You just have to tell me what you want.”
Honestly, he needed to do this alone. While he appreciated his man offering, Blackhawk didn’t want to fall apart, and he knew he would if Gene was there.
One day, he’d introduce them, but for now, he wanted to get the hell out of there.
“You can come with me, but I want to talk to her alone. I need to tell her a few things, mostly that I’m okay. If you’re with me, I’m breaking down. I’ve had enough tears this week.”
Gene understood.
He could do that.
“Okay, Baby.”
As they reached theSacred Burial Grounds, he parked the car. Getting out of the vehicle, the grounds sang with chimes and bells blowing in the breeze.
“Where is she?” he asked, checking out the different stones scattered all over the place.
He pointed.
“She’s over there beside my grandmother and Callen’s mother.”
Gene let him go.
Heading toward her, Gene gave him space, but sure as shit, he was going to watch the man to make sure he was safe.
Gene was in possessive mode, and he wasn’t sure if he’d ever go back to being a bottom again. Protecting Ethan had become his sole goal, other than legally marrying him.
For now, this husband was getting locked to his side until that paper could make it official to the world.
Bet on that.
As Ethan reached his mother’s gravestone, he saw some dead flowers there and picked them up.
Someone had left her some white roses.
Well, he had more.
A part of him felt like shit that he didn’t come here more often, but the other part knew the truth. He wasn’t meant to be here.
It was too toxic.
Placing them down, he kissed the stone.
“Hey, Mom. I miss you so goddamn much. I won’t be back,” he said. “I can’t stand to be here. I hope you’ll forgive me for not seeing you again. I know it’s been a long time. This place isn’t good for me. It takes me back, and I can’t be strong right now. I’m learning how to be Ethan. If I can get back, maybe I’ll stop in, but if you’re around with Grandma, watch out for Callen. He’s a hot fucking mess. I can’t save him when I can’t save me.”
The wind blew, and the chimes sounded all around them. He believed his mother was there with him.
