FAST.
But how?
Pulling out his phone, he stared at it and knew that his lover would still be in the air, heading home.
So, he rattled off a text.
To Gene.
The whole time, that overwhelming need to run for it, was trying to overtake him, and he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t doing just that.
He’d lost his badge.
For Ethan, he needed a place to hide and regroup. Gene being out of reach was going to bite him in the ass. He couldn’t talk him down.
So, he left him a message. Hopefully, he wouldn’t hate him.
‘He asked if we were a couple, and I wouldn’t tell him, so I’m terminated. He knows about us, and he is separating us. He put me back in Puerto Rico, and you’re being reassigned a new partner when you’re back. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I could have handled that better. He told me you’re better off without me, and maybe you are. I’m sorry I let you get hurt. I’m jobless, and I’m getting on a flight. I’m scared. I just lost who I am, Gene. He’s breaking us apart, and I don’t know who I am anymore. I have to get out of DC. Don’t forget that I’ll love you forever. I’m sorry I dropped the ball. I couldn’t protect us. I’m just not strong enough.’
Honestly, Ethan wasn’t sure it even made any sense. Truthfully, he felt like he was just babbling in the text.
What he needed to do was escape.
That overwhelming voice in his head, the demon that had been pushed back for months, was back in control.
He was a failure.
He caused this.
All the things he’d learned by being with Gene were gone, and he was back to square one.
Alone.
Broken.
Afraid.
Putting his phone away, Blackhawk drove to the airport, and instead of going back toPhillyor even DC, he did something he knew would happen.
Home called him.
The voice was whispering the truth. He was a failure, and this was always going to happen. He had no right to believe a half-breed could pull this off.
He was nothing.
And this proved it.
Blackhawk was going to go back to poverty and the rez with his tail between his legs.
It was his destiny.
So, he bought the ticket toDamascus.
Ethan Blackhawk was going home because he didn’t know who he was without the FBI. There was no way he could be an agent without his partner.
Gene had been the only thing that gave him stability, and the free-fall began.
AGAIN.
