Why?
Because he shouldn’t have any of these feelings.
Truthfully, Callen knew what he felt for his brother, and he knew the countless times he’d watched Ethan sleep, curled against him to stay warm.
And that was exactly the sensation he felt when they were together.
It brought pleasure.
TOO.
MUCH.
PLEASURE.
Oh, and that made him worry.
From his past, he hoped and prayed that what was done to him as a child didn’t alter him in some way. He’d never been attracted to men, but for some reason, he was to Ethan.
And it was so wrong.
The man was his brother.
Okay, he was his half-brother, but they were still tied at the DNA.
Right?
Only, when Ethan stared into his eyes, or he heard his melodic laughter, Callen found himself falling. He didn’t even feel that for women. It had always only been with Ethan.
The Great Spirit knew he tried to replicate it again, and again, but failed.
Yeah, he was fucked in the head, and he knew it. That was the main reason he didn’t stay when Ethan showed up at his door.
Letting him leave…
It was getting more difficult each time. At some point, he suspected it would be impossible, and that would be problematic for all parties involved.
What he wanted to do was go to his cabin, lock the door, and tell Ethan he needed him to stay for him.
He wanted to tell him to stay with him.
Would he?
Callen didn’t know.
What he did know was that if his brother did stay for him, it would ruin Ethan’s life. The bottom line was that Ethan hated it here.
Could he ever learn to be happy on the rez?
Callen didn’t know. To find that out, he’d have to ask him, and that couldn’t happen. The other alternative couldn’t either.
Reading his brother’s mind was one of those things you simply couldn’t do.
He was an enigma.
That was the problem with his brother. One never knew what would happen with him. EJ was unpredictable, and that was dangerous to all parties concerned.
What Callen wanted was to be punched in the face, and a reset of their whole relationship.
