Thegesture? Who talks like that? I could see he was not only surprised but disturbed by my visit. I stood abruptly and gathered the tacos. “I’ll take these home. You can heat them up later.”
“Oh, c’mon, Marge.”
“Please don’t call me Marge.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I am appreciative, I just…I wish you’d called.”
I looked at the floor. “I did.”
Rory walked around the desk. “I wish I’d known you were coming, that’s all.” He touched my arm. “Today is tough for me.”
I sat back in the chair. “Can we sit together for five minutes?” I wanted him to ask how my day was going, what I was thinking about. I wanted to wave my hands in the air and say, “I’m here! I’m here! I’m trying to show you how much I love you. I’m trying with every fiber of my being to be a great wife.”
He shook his head. “Not today. Please understand. I have five guys waiting for me at Leunig’s. Can we talk later?”
I had a feeling that if it hadn’t been five guys waiting at Leunig’s, there would have been something else. I was an intruder. I put on a smile that gave no indication I was upset. I stood and said lightheartedly, “I knew I was taking a gamble. It was worth a shot. At least we were able to spend a moment together.” I pecked him on the cheek. “Go tear up your day.”
“Are you mad at me?” He offered his finest smile.
I forced an even brighter smile. “Not in the least. We committed to all this hard work together. I just wanted to show you that I love you.”
“Message received, loud and clear.” Another kiss, and he nearly ran out the door. I’d forgotten until now, but his mismatched socks were the last thing I saw.
I left in a sad haze.Rather than going home, I decided my earlier Target and Marshall’s fueled retail therapy hadn’t been enough. For me, no true retail therapy session is complete without a stop at Williams-Sonoma. By stop, I mean setting up a temporary residency. I could never just swing by my favorite store. When I walked through those doors, I came to play.
I don’t even want to tell you the truth, but oh, well. As I strolledinto the store, two of the ladies in green aprons waved and one of them said, “Welcome back, Margot.”
“Hi, Alicia. Hi, Beth. How are you?”
Alicia, to my knowledge the newest and youngest employee at the store, said, “Let us know if we can help you find anything.” She waved a hand at me and grinned. “But I think you know your way around.”
Like any good shopper, something came alive in my eyes when I worked my way through the aisles. I could scan two displays simultaneously, looking for both new items and any discounts worth checking out. Seeing all these kitchen gadgets immediately made me feel better.
The first thing I focused on was an Instant Pot. A newer version and one that had a larger capacity than the pressure cooker I already had. Considering my whole plan to fix my marriage revolved around an Instant Pot, I should have the best. I carried the box toward the checkout and started my stack. Then there was a juicer. Did I already have one? Yes. Was it this nice? No. Did it join my stack? Yes, indeed. I added two new spatulas, an adorable pair of reindeer oven mitts, and a set of Christmas bistro towels. As the pile by the register grew, so did my heart, and all my troubles dissolved, at least for a brief moment. I bought such a large load that Alicia helped me out to my car after checking out.
By the time I returned home, I felt only a smidge better. I swear, a visit to Williams-Sonoma could have fixed all my woes a couple of months ago. Now it was only a part of the remedy. What next? Fortunately, I never ran out of ideas, but I needed to clean the house first.
After washing, setting up, and playing with all my new toys—and disposing of the bags, packaging, and receipts—I began cleaning the house. I slipped a few pressure releases into the cleaning downstairs. I stuck a giant ball of hair and dust into the top drawer of the Dream Killer’s desk. I rearranged a few of thebooks, which originally had been lined up alphabetically on the shelf. Little things to make me happy. Totally harmless!
Accomplishing as much as I could in one day, I finished with the bathrooms. With Philippe following behind, I hiked the stairs wearing yellow rubber gloves. I polished the clawfoot tub and the sinks. As I knelt to clean the toilet, the final urge to satisfy my current depression hit me like a witch swinging her broom across my head. I’d thought about this one before but had never acted upon the idea. I slowly twisted my head toward Rory’s sink and saw his blue toothbrush. A smile rushed over me. Thank God no one was filming me, because I must have looked like the most conniving and deranged wife on earth. I removed his toothbrush from the holder and returned to the toilet.
Was I really going to do this?
Apparently.
I lifted the lid and sprayed an organic solution around the rim. I raised my arm, looked at his clean toothbrush one more time, and reached into the bowl. Guilt took a few swipes at me. I stopped with the bristles an inch away from the porcelain. It wasn’t the dirtiest toilet bowl in the world, but it needed cleaning. Using his toothbrush would cross a line.
Was that what saving this marriage would take?
No. I couldn’t do it. I shook my head, repulsed that I’d even considered the notion. I stood to return the brush to its holder. At the last second though, I changed my mind yet again. Yes, saving this marriage would require sacrifice. He’d gotten the wife of a lifetime, and the only thing he had to do was brush his teeth with a dirty toothbrush!
I returned to the toilet, and without another thought—at least, without another doubt—began scrubbing. Nothing could have wiped the grin off my face. By the time I was done with that toilet, you could have had Christmas Eve dinner on it.
Rory’s toothbrush, on the other hand. Repulsive.
As I finished, I fell onto my butt, cackling. Deranged Margot strikes again. Rory probably thought he had complete control over me. Little did he know this entire year had been my game.Mygame.Myplan.
To be fair, I did run his toothbrush under hot water for a minute after I finished. I’m not a complete witch. Well, honestly, it wasn’t a whole minute. I ran the brush under lukewarm water for few seconds though. Such a witch!
