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I glanced into the garden and saw Hamlet walking on the lawn, deep in thought – with Alan following him at a safe distance. As I watched, Hamlet turned to him and glared. The small dodo went all sheepish and laid his head on the ground in supplication. Clearly, Hamlet wasn't just a fictional Prince of Denmark, but also something of an alpha dodo.
I smiled to myself and wandered into the living room, where I found Friday building a castle out of bricks with Pickwick helping. Of course, 'helping' in this context means 'watching'. I glanced at the clock. Time for work. Just when I could do with some relaxing brick-building therapy. Mum agreed to look after Friday and I gave him a kiss goodbye.
'Be good.'
'Arse.'
'What did you say?'
'Pikestaff.'
'If those are rude Old English words, St Zvlkx is in a lot of trouble – and so are you, my little fellow. Mum, sure you're okay?'
'Of course. We'll take him to the zoo.'
'Good. No, wait – we?'
'Bismarck and I.'
'Mum!?'
'What? Can't a more or less widowed woman have a bit of male company from time to time?'
'Well,' I stammered, feeling unnaturally shocked for some reason, 'I suppose there's no reason why not.'
'Good. Be off with you. After we've gone to the zoo we might drop in at the tearooms. And then the theatre.'
She had started to go all dreamy so I left, shocked not only that mother might be even considering some sort of a fling with Bismarck, but that Joffy might have been right.
27
Weird Shit on the M4
'George Formby was born George Hoy Booth in Wigan in 1904. He followed his father into the music hall business, adopted the ukulele as his trademark and by the time the war broke out he was a star of variety, pantomime and film. During the first years of the war, he and his wife Beryl toured extensively for ENSA, entertaining the troops as well as making a series of highly successful movies. When invasion of England was inevitable, many influential dignitaries and celebrities were shipped out to Canada. Moving underground with the English resistance and various stalwart regiments of the Local Defence Volunteers, Formby manned the outlawed "Wireless St George" and broadcast songs, jokes and messages to secret receivers across the country. The Formbys used their numerous contacts in the North to smuggle Allied airmen to neutral Wales and form resistance cells that harried the Nazi invaders. In post-war republican England he was made nonexecutive President for life.'
JOHN WILLIAMS – The Extraordinary Career of George Formby
I avoided the news crews who were waiting for me at the SpecOps building and parked up at the rear. Major Drabb was waiting for me as I walked into the entrance lobby. He saluted smartly but I detected a slight reticence about him this morning. I handed him another scrap of paper.
'Good morning, Major. Today's assignment is the Museum of the American Novel in Salisbury.'
'Very . . . good, Agent Next.'
'Problems, Major?'
'Well,' he said, biting his lip nervously, 'yesterday you had me searching the library of a famous Belgian and today the Museum of the American Novel. Shouldn't we be searching more . . . well, Danish facilities?'
I pulled him aside and lowered my voice.
'That's precisely what they would be expecting us to do. These Danes are clever people. You wouldn't expect them to hide their books somewhere as obvious as the Wessex Danish Library, now, would you?'
He smiled and tapped his nose.
'Very astute, Agent Next.'
Drabb saluted again, clicked his heels and was gone. I smiled to myself and pressed the elevator call button. As long as Drabb didn't report to Flanker I could keep this going all week.
Bowden was not alone. He was talking to the last person I would expect to see in a LiteraTec office: Spike.
