Slowly, Severin crosses the space between us. I hold very still as he presses a delicate kiss to my forehead, right between my eyes. But it’s there and gone in a fraction of a moment, like a butterfly alighting on my skin only to flutter away a heartbeat later. He reaches down to take the practice sword fromme, and then he’s retreating, picking his sword up from where he dropped it.
I stand there, fingers curled into fists at my sides, as he sheathes the swords, puts on his long jacket, and then turns to face me.
“Good night, Maeve,” he says.
I don’t want to say it back. I’m afraid it would feel like goodbye.
Severin frowns. Then he leaves, and as the door into the stairwell whispers closed behind him, I’m overcome with fear and grief and rage.
And for the first time in a long time, I can’t contain the power inside me.
I tip my head back andscream.
My voice cuts through the cold air, sending a murder of crows crying into the sky, their inky wings blending in with the darkening night. The wind picks up, tossing my hair wildly around my face.
And overhead, thunder rumbles, my emotions calling a storm from the fabric of the sky.
If Severin heard me, he doesn’t seem to care, because the door to the stairwell doesn’t open again.
So I’m standing alone as my storm clouds gather and as the first few raindrops start to fall, freezing my skin where they strike my face and slip beneath the collar of my long-sleeved tunic.
I’ve never let myself fall for anyone, and I sure as hell haven’t ever allowed myself to fallin lovewith anyone. I knew the risks. I knew the dangers. But I let it happen anyway. And I continue to let it happen.
I grit my teeth. Lightning cracks across the sky above me, reaching for the power coursing through my veins, calling for me to join it in a dance of fire and light. Angry tears race down my cheeks, mingling with the rainwater as it freezes my skin.
My heart thrums, the thread beneath my sternum tugging at me, trying to pull me toward Severin, even as he moves away from me, deeper into the belly of the castle.
I refuse the pull, holding my ground and forcing myself to stand there, even though it feels wrong on a cellular level.
And I let my storm rage until I have nothing left to give.
Chapter 46
Severin
BY THE TIME I MAKE it to the staff wing, the storm outside has intensified, swallowing the castle whole. Rain lashes against the stained glass windows, clouds obscuring the moon and stars in the dark sky beyond.
I heard her scream. As I descended the staircase from the tower, her voice cut through even the stone. I wanted so badly to go to her, to turn around and rush out onto the spire and crush her against my chest. But I resisted. And the tug beneath my sternum only intensified because of it, raging against me.
The tension still sits there, right behind my ribs, as I unlock the door to my apartment. The key grates against my burnt palm, and I wince.
I know she didn’t mean to. Perhaps I even deserved it.
Pushing through the door, I step into my apartment, and cold air washes over me. My window is dark, and rain thrums against the glass, incessant and impossible to ignore.
With a sigh, I close and lock my door, then prop the swords against the wall, strip out of my jacket, and immediately go tothe kitchen to search my cabinets for something to ease the fire licking through my blistered palm.
I locate a small tin of skin salve, grateful I have it. When I spread the cool ointment across my scorched flesh, a sharp sting follows, then eases into a creeping coldness that spreads outward from my palm and up into my wrist. My fingers tremble as the pain softens to a dull throb.
After wrapping my palm in a strip of soft cotton, I cross to the hearth and light the fire. Wind whistles down the chimney, trying to put out the flames before they have a chance to take hold of the wood. Once the fire catches, it tosses light across my small apartment, casting shadows along the walls.
And I wish Maeve were here. At every moment, I wish Maeve were here. And she has no idea how hard I had to fight my instincts up there on the tower, how badly I wanted to wrap her in my arms and never let her go again.
Her freedom is more important, I remind myself as I walk to my desk and take a seat with a heavy sigh.The circuit will steal that from her. It will alter her life forever. And I can’t allow that to happen.
I recall the words in the book:Marked deviation from natural lifespan. Vitality sustained beyond ordinary limits.
My jaw tightens.
