Hope or heartbreak.
Her or him.
The adjoining door that will take me to a crying woman who deserves protection… or the one that leads out to a cold, dark, bloody world so I can chase down the man who hurt her.
In the end, there’s only one choice.
I make my move.
31
CASS
I told Susan I needed a minute to freshen up. She squinted at me briefly, like she wasn’t sure I was telling the truth. But in the end, she just smiled, patted my elbow, and told me to come rejoin everyone downstairs when I was ready.
“Of course!” I’d said brightly. “Be right down.”
Then I slipped inside, shut the door behind me—and collapsed onto my knees.
You’re so stupid,I think.Stupid, stupid, stupid. How much dumber can you get?
I went off-script. Matvei told me, very specifically, very plainly, that the plan washis.All I had to do was let him work. I had a job: Stay out of the damn way. And what did I do?
Uh…not that.
I lifted a shotgun in the woods. I almost shot the man my partner is supposed to shoot…
In a clearing crawling with witnesses…
With a baby in my body.
The worst part isn’t even Raymond. It’s the look on Matvei’s face down at the end of the lunch table. The smallest fraction of a nod. I interpreted it as a promise of solidarity, like,Don’t worry, I’m with you.But what if it was more along the lines of,This dumb bitch just torpedoed the whole damn thing?
Downstairs, Raymond is getting into his car. I’m pretty sure he knows. Nottotallysure. But pretty.
And if he knows, then in some Cayman hotel six weeks from now—or in some quieter, closer-to-home place even sooner—he’s going to make sure I’m never able to raise another shotgun again.
I don’t realize I’ve started crying again until a tear lands on my wrist and slides into the cuff of my sweater.
That’s when I hear something.
I look up—and see the knob of the adjoining door turn.
The hinges sigh. The door opens an inch, then enough for a shoulder, then enough for the rest of him.
Matvei.
He shuts the door behind him very quietly. He crosses the room in long, effortless strides, drops to his knees in front of me, and puts his hands on my shoulders.
“You’re here,” I say. “You’re— How? Why are you here?”
“For you,” he replies simply.
“But I don’t deserve— I mean, I almost killed him!” I blurt. “I had the gun and I— I almost did it. I— I’m sorry, I know I wasn’tsupposed to, I know we had— I had a plan,youhad a plan, and I?—”
“Hush now,” he says as he drags me onto his lap. “None of that matters.”
“How can it not matter?” I wail. “You should’ve let him take me! This whole fucking thing is so dumb, so unbelievably stupid, I don’t know how I ever thought I’d be capable of?—”
