She would have screamed had she anything left in her when it ripped free from her sternum, ricocheting through her body in heavy pulses of electrified fire.
It was her, but not. It surged and drifted, sudden violent swells that gentled to a summer breeze between one quavering breath and the next. So similar to the misery she’d felt while with Lee, she became afraid. Terrified that somehow it would be like it was before and she’d lose the strenuous hold she had upon her sanity.
Tobias’ reaction was immediate. The purr growing louder, vibrating with a horrible sensation too close to sorrow as he cradled her ever closer until Quinn was smothered in his heat and scent. An attempt to comfort what could not be soothed away.
The exhaustion that had plagued her for so long now dug its ragged claws into her, making her weak, breathless as she fought for a single inch of reprieve. Mind struggling to sift through what was her and what was not, her panic flared and shrieked. A wailing explosion in a night dark sky.
She didn’t want to feel this.
Tobias gave her no mercy, invading her with single minded determination. Chocolate and chilies simmered under her skin, torrents of heat blasting through her veins. He grunted above her. Hands tightening, he tried to push closer as if he could take her inside of him, making them one.
A sound reminiscent of a groan filtered through the chaos clamoring around her skull. Uncertain which of them had made the noise, she could do little more than cling to him as sensations bombarded her. Too much to take in, not enough to make any sense of. Pain, regret, sorrow, betrayal. It blasted through her thoughts, obliterating everything.
Destroying her one thudding heartbeat at a time.
Something splintered and cracked, shattering from the constant abuse. Soundless as it ripped her apart, slicing her open and laying her bare and vulnerable to the beast lurking inside and out. Thick tears dripped from her lashes, trickling down her temples to stain her hair dark and glossy.
A breath filled her lungs. Long and deep, it was clean and crisp. As if she breathed fresh air for the first time in her life. It shuddered through her, filling her up with a warmth she had never known under her own control. Something only he could incite, the thing he did to her when he broke her to his will.
Yet her thoughts were her own. She felt him there, deep inside, touching a part of her he had no right to, but she wasn’t struggling against the sunlit agony.
The bond was not quiet, but for once it did not hurt.
“Yes,” Tobias murmured against her wet cheek. Sliding his chest against hers, petting her with his whole body as he rubbed his scent on her skin.
To comfort, to soothe. Giving her something physical to hold on to as something close to panic began to prick the back of her neck again. Letting her know her Alpha was near and would keep her safe.
It wasn’t her that thought it, wasn’t her deduction bringing her to the conclusion. It was him. A pattern of emotions, thoughts, and things she couldn’t begin to describe that told her what it was. Speaking without uttering a word.
Quinn could feel the wild staccato of his heart, the sweat trickling down his back. The heat of him against her chilled skin. As if she somehow inhabited his body while still locked within hers, she could perceive every little thing.
“I don’t understand.” Still her lungs worked to pull in the unsullied air that was redolent with both their scents, a crushing weight lifted. Quinn felt free in a way she couldn’t comprehend and hated that it scared her as much as anything before it.
“You always fight me. Tooth and nail.” He looked exhausted as he settled back against the pillows that had come loose of her construct while she thrashed under him.
She didn’t remember moving, but she must have. Long red marks scored his arms and sides, deep crimson crescents oozing at his shoulders.
“Literally.”
His surprised huff of laughter startled them both, but Quinn’s lips twitched in a smile. She didn’t remember ever seeing him laugh, not a real one at least. Well, not at her, anyhow. He smiled and laughed with the kids while she was too weary and sick to participate.
“I didn’t know it was this bad, sweetness,” Tobias whispered, touching her hair again. Worried even that would send her skittering away. He was waiting for her to reject him, all of it, for things to return to the way they had been.
Unsure if she wanted to continue this or not, she couldn’t blame him.
“I told you what was happening.”
“And what reason did I have to believe you? It wouldn’t be the first time you lied to me.”
Flinching from the chill that crept through his tone and the bitter well of anger that simmered just under the surface of it all, Quinn could see his point. Not that he was right, but she could understand it. Thinking he would know the truth of her words, that he had every last detail accounted for, she’d said a great many things aimed to hurt him. Cruel, vicious things. Things about her time with Lee and his men that were so far from the truth as to be laughable, but he didn’t know how much, it would seem. He only knew it wasn’t the truth.
“Yes. Now you understand.” Rising from the bed, he held out a hand to her. He was tired and expecting another argument, something to bring this all crashing to the ground in a flaming pile of shit.
Quinn eyed his hand, wary of the invitation.
“I’d like to shower before the doctor comes. I thought you might, too.”
“No.” Quinn pulled in another breath, struggling up the bed so that she didn’t face him from the flat of her back. Clutching at the sheets, she peered up at him with solemn eyes. “No more doctors, no more pills.”
