It was so much like before and yet so very different. She swore she could feel his hands on her as what he wanted to do, what he wished he could do, came on a charged torrent of images and sensations. Whole and present in the moment, Quinn gnawed at her lip as he moved ever closer. Heat rising in her cheeks, seeing it stain her chest from the corner of her eye, she knew she was blushing.
Burden tossed aside with a careless sweep of his arm, he came. The backs of his fingers skimmed down her arm as he took up position behind her to press against her back.
He was gone the second she stiffened, hand snatched back with a sound of confusion and anger.
“It’s not… I mean, I…” The problem was clear to her. Not drowning in his control, able to breathe past his warming scent and excitement, she wasn’t being forced to forget it all. Gone was the brilliant heat that demolished all memory of what came before it. It was better than it was before, she didn’t jump at every shadow, but he had never given her time. The wounds ran deep and festered long after the physical scars healed.
Shoulders hunching the longer he remained still and silent behind her, she waited. He’d expect it, demand it even, and she had to find some way. He’d given her something, this is what she would pay him back with. It was a coin she knew and understood. Taking a shuddering breath that fouled in the fear tight confines of her throat, she turned towards Tobias. Letting her shaky fingers settle along his hip, she fixed her gaze on the rise and fall of his chest.
“Stop.” Entwining their fingers, he pulled her hand to his chest and pressed it against the space where the bond clattered with her anxiety. Spreading her fingers wide, he held it over the expanse of skin so she could feel the slow, steady thump of his heart.
Waiting until her breathing evened out and the skittery tension dwindled, he reached for the soap. Touch careful, he began to wash her. Gentle as he smoothed the fluffy lavender scented bubbles over her skin, he purred when her movements became restless, nervous. He washed her long after she was scrubbed clean, using it as an excuse to touch, to caress, but not to demand. Quinn peered at him through lowered lashes, knowing the game he was playing and wondering how far he would take it. Whether waiting until she relaxed enough for him to take advantage or if he would give her this as well, she was surprised that she was enjoying the careful attention.
More that she was intrigued. Feeling his marvel in his gentle caresses, the heat of desire as he traced the contours of her. Not seeking out to get what he wanted, but just… enjoying her. The little trips and stumbles as he traced a deep scar or the thick ridges of a bite, the possessive need to wipe all of it away tight on the heels of a burst of anger and sorrow.
It was fascinating. Now the scowls and frowns were explained, the way his gaze would slide over her, seeing but not seeing.
Scrubbing at her scalp, working the lather through the tangled tresses, he smiled at her contented hum. This she liked best, no matter what else he did. The way he ran his fingers through the long length of her hair, scratching just the right amount, massaging away even the thought of strain from her neck and shoulders. Slick fingers working against her.
“You are so very beautiful.”
Eyes snapping open, she gave a perturbed grunt at her moment of peace being trampled. Rolling her eyes at his slow smile, refusing to acknowledge the compliment, she turned her attention to the water pelting her back as she stepped under it.
“Not yet,” Tobias said, pulling her into his chest, and if there was the lilt of a question there, his firm expression didn’t allow it to be answered. He wasn’t a man to ask. He told and demanded, and people did as he wished.
Not today though, or so it would seem. Quinn huffed a sigh but nodded her head once. Let him wrap his arms around her without complaint and even dared to relax just a bit more into his heat. Pushing his rough hands up her spine, digging deep into the muscle until he cradled her head, Tobias began that incredible scrubbing against her scalp once more.
When she felt like warm putty that would ooze down the drain, that was when he stopped his ministrations. Guiding her under the still hot water, he rinsed the thick conditioner from her hair. His purr was utter satisfaction and had nothing to do with sex.
It continued when he helped her from the shower, leading her to stand in the middle of the room so he could buff her skin dry with a warm, thick towel. It grew louder still, the resonance deeper somehow, as he stood behind her with a brush to restore some order to the riot of curls drying into a fluffy mass.
He was trying so damned hard, being so fucking careful. Quinn understood it as he kept his movements slow, easy, making sure not to startle her out of the dreamy calm. A true peace, at least for the moment. All without him crushing her under his will and forcing her hand. Without breaking her to his demands.
Whatever this truce was, it was only a breath away from being destroyed. One misinterpreted move, one careless word, and it would be a return to the grinding battle.
As Tobias stood before her, naked and in an obvious state of arousal that Quinn knew she couldn’t answer, she decided. Filling her lungs to the point of bursting, she held it as she reached for his hand. She couldn’t help averting her gaze or the way her head tried to turn away in a blatant sign of submission, but she still managed to slide her fingers over his. Curling her far smaller hand around the broadness of his palm, she dared to give him her back and a faint tug. Leading him into the bedroom and to her nest.
Swallowing hard, Quinn forced her hand to unclench from around his. Grimacing at the slick feel of clammy sweat coating her palm but determined nonetheless as she pressed her fingers to his chest. Uncertainty and a spark of hope raged between them, a silent storm that threatened to rip the entire moment into oblivion as Tobias sank back onto the bed.
Another calming breath saw her climbing up onto the huge mattress, crawling past him to the heavy drifts that surrounded her side of the bed. Though she was beginning to tremble, she turned back to him and met the charged green of his gaze for just a moment. Quinn knew what he wanted, could feel it winding through her veins in lazy pulses of searing heat. While some part of her, whether through the bond or routine alone, wanted to answer the green fire of his desire, she leaned over to arrange the blankets and sheets around them instead.
A low sound of strangled panic met his questioning fingers as they moved down the sensitive skin over her ribs. Quinn recoiled to curl up around herself, protecting the prickling patch of flesh. Counting the staccato of her heartbeat, the moment she could breathe she forced herself to unfurl. Stretching out alongside of him, she poked and prodded at the trunk like limbs of the Alpha whose confusion grew thicker and more agitated by the second.
Once positioned more or less in a way that suited her, Quinn heaved a sigh and collapsed into the bed. Tucked into his shadow, nose tight against his skin, she hauled the mass of blankets up over them both and yawned.
“Good night,” she mumbled, eyes drifting shut before the words had even finished slipping past her lips.
Chapter Five
Quinn burrowed deeper under a slab that was overbearing in its warmth yet somehow comforting. Drifting in that hazy space between dreams and reality, she made a gravel rough hum as she pulled more of that unbearable heat around her.
For the first time in recent memory, she didn’t hurt. The nausea lingered, twisting her insides into complicated knots, but she could breathe for once. Something soft and mellow drifted through her senses, a shy breeze carrying the promise of fresh and beautiful things. At peace, she wallowed in the sensations and pushed away the tickling urge to open her eyes.
She needed just a few moments more before she saw what this day would bring and what awaited her.
“I’ve never seen that smile.”
Breath leaving her in a rush, the sound was an irritated growl as Quinn flopped to her other side. The moment was ruined, the arms she’d wrapped herself in now shackles in the cage of his presence. Tobias didn’t let her go far, but he did allow her to turn her back to him and put a bank of frigid cold between them. Suppressing the shiver that followed the loss of his heat, Quinn grabbed her abandoned pillow and gripped it tight to her chest. A downy shield to protect her from whatever would happen next.
