I squint. “You have got to be kidding me,” I curse, heading toward them when the driver comes into view. He is someone I immediately recognize and someone I do not want anywhere near Bibiana right now. Not when she’s pissed. Probably hurt over what she thinks she saw. Fucking Jae. Can’t this guy just disappear or something?
“Bibiana!” I shout her name and she spins, her face red and splotchy in the moonlight, wet trails running down her cheeks as she stumbles a bit before regaining her footing. My chest tightens. Shit. I did this. “Mariposa, please. Talk to me.” The endearment rolls off my tongue, but as soon as she hears it, she flinches as though struck.
I’m almost to her but she manages to swing open the car door, climbing inside and shutting it quickly behind her. I slam my palm against the glass and lift the door handle, but it’s locked. “Momma, open the door.” She won’t look at me. I can tell from their mouths moving that she and the fucker inside are arguing about something, but I can’t hear their words. I can feel her slipping through my fingers. If she leaves right now without talking to me, without hearing me out, I know deep down in my gut that we’re done. I don’t know how I know that, but it’s a visceral feeling I can’t shake.
I need her to open the door. Now.
SEVENTY-ONE
Bibiana
Atext message flashes across my screen.
Allie: Stay. I’ll take you home if you don’t want to see Emilio but you should hear him out. I don’t think he did what you think he did.
My fingers flyover the illuminated screen as tears track down my face. Of course she would take his side.
Me: I know what I saw.
He had his shirt off,his hands holding her to him as she sucked on his neck like a goddamn vampire. So, no. I do not want to hear him out. I don’t want to ever talk to him again. Urgh! I press the backs of my hands to my eyes.
Nothing can excuse what he did. What he was about to do. God, I am so stupid. I thought I meant more to him. I thought that the flirting and whatever at school was unintentional. Like maybe he didn’t realize what it looked like. I tried to brush it off, but this, I can’t ignore this, and god does that hurt. I thought—I thought maybe he wanted to build a life with me. That we could be a family—him, me and Luis. But I was wrong and now I feel sick. Nausea twists and turns in my gut as I buckle my seat belt.
“Can we leave?” I ask Jae, ignoring the look of concern on his face.
Emilio never cared about me. I was convenient. Easy. A heavy weight presses down on my chest as I realize just how insignificant I am to him. Was this all just a ploy to hurt me? Was any of these past few weeks real?
I shake my head, the alcohol making my head spin.
“Bibi—”
I groan and press my head against my seat. “I’m crying. I’m drunk. And my boyfriend or baby daddy or whatever the hell he is supposed to be was with another girl so for the love of God, can we please leave!” My voice is shrill in the car and I don’t even care. I can’t—my chest heaves and I begin to hyperventilate.
“Are you okay?”
No. I am not okay. I’m pretty sure that’s obvious right now, but I don’t say that.
“Open the door,” Emilio shouts, knocking on the window, startling me as he tries to pry the door open with brute force. Good luck with that. “Mariposa, please. Talk to me.”
My upper lip curls at that single word. I am not his butterfly. I am not his anything. I turn to face him and suck in a shaking breath. “Leave me alone!” I scream loud enough for him to hear me.
His hand is still holding the door handle as if he can stop the car from leaving. His nostrils flare and he gives one firm shake of his head. “We need to talk. You can’t just run away from—”
“Fuck you, Emilio!” I flip him off. I don’t care that it’s childish. He deserves it. “Leave me the hell alone.” Angry tears spill down my cheeks and I hate myself for them. Hate that I can’t lock up my emotions right now. “Why can’t I stop freaking crying,” I complain out loud, and Jae squeezes my knee.
“It’s okay,” he says.
Emilio shouts, “Dammit, Bibiana. Nothing happened!”
I want to believe him. Believe he would never throw what we have away, but I know what I saw, and I refuse to let him make a fool out of me. How long has this been going on? Did he ever stop seeing her? Has he been fooling around with her behind my back this entire time?
“Drive Jae.”
“Are you sure? If you need to talk to him—”
“Just drive!”
His face is tight with worry, but he nods and puts the car in reverse, backing out of Kasey’s driveway.
