I collapse into his embrace, the weight of his words crushing me. The realization that we're breaking apart tears me in two, leaving behind a hollow ache in my chest.
"I don't think I can be whole without you," I whisper, clinging to him as if his strength is the only thing keeping me from falling. “I tried. I thought I could do it on my own before, but I can’t.” Telling him this is selfish and wrong, but I need him in my life.
I was wrong before. I never should have pushed him away.
Gabriel squeezes me tighter. “You’ll find a way," he promises softly, his voice shaky but determined. “We both will.”
I wish I could feel an ounce of the confidence he does. But all I feel is the searing ache of loss and regret.
I did this to us. He’s walking away because of me. My fault. My mistake.
After a couple of minutes, he releases his hold and nudges me towards Felix. Some form of silent communication passes between them, and with one final look, he turns and walks away.
I take a step in his direction but Felix wraps a tentative arm around my shoulders, stopping me. “Let him go,” he says as we both watch Gabriel climb onto his bike, turn on the ignition, and drive away.
I choke on a sob.
“Don’t cry.” He gives my shoulder a squeeze. “It’ll be okay. He’s hurting. Give him time to blow off some steam.” I don’t miss the fact that he doesn’t say Gabriel will change his mind or that he’ll come around.
Felix knows it’s over, too.
Swiping at the tears on my face, I allow him to usher me to the passenger door of his car. A numbness settles over me as I slide onto the cool leather seat. Felix jogs around the car and climbs inside.
“What are you doing here?” I ask him once we’ve pulled onto the road. “How did you know?—”
“Gabe texted me,” he says.
“Oh.” Of course he did. Even angry, Gabriel would never abandon me. Even when he has every right to.
We drive in silence and I stare down at my hands, wondering how everything went so horribly wrong. I feel awful about the wedding. I never meant to— I cut off the thought. Gabriel deserves better than this. If I’d known how awful of a woman his mother was, I never would have suggested we come. The last thing I ever wanted was to hurt Gabriel.
But that's all we seem capable of doing to one another lately. Hurting each other.
What if he never forgives me for this?
All of a sudden, I get a glimpse of the way he’s been feeling these past few weeks.
I was wrong to blame him for what Austin did. I may have asked Gabriel to let me fight my own battles, but what happened that day, it wasn’t his fault. He wasn’t the one who attacked me and I had no right to blame him the way that I did.
“What did he tell you?” I ask, suddenly desperate to know what else Gabriel may have said when he messaged him.
“Nothing,” he tells me, eyes trained on the road in front of him. “He dropped me the address and asked me to take you home.”
“That was it?”
He nods.
“And you just dropped everything and came?” No need for clarity? No questions asked?
Felix shrugs. “That’s what family does,” he tells me. “We show up for one another. He wouldn’t have asked me to take you home unless things got fucked up. So, here I am.”
A fresh wave of tears blurs my vision because things are fucked up. They’re so fucked up, and I don’t know how we’ll ever come out of this. He was so angry with me. So … hurt. I did that to him. I put him in that position. I made him relive the feeling of loss and abandonment his parents put him through all over again.
“You wanna tell me what happened between the two of you?” he asks.
I open my mouth. Close it. Try again.
“I think I really messed up.”
