I nod, even though my chest is tight with emotions I can’t fully unravel. “Mmhmm.” I don’t trust myself to speak right now. I’m doing everything I can to rein my temper in. And it’s not like I’m pissed with Cecilia. She’s the victim in all this. But fuck if I can help it, because despite knowing that, I’m seeing fucking red.
“What are you thinking?” she asks softly, shifting against me.
I pull her closer, pressing a kiss to the top of her head to keep myself calm. “I’m not really thinking about anything,” I lie. Truth is, I’m thinking about a million things, and none of them feel good.
She glances up at me, searching my face, trying to read what’s going on inside my head. “Are you sure? Because you feel ... tense.”
I force out a laugh but it’s strained. “Yeah, just ... processing.”Trying not to lose my shit,I don’t add.
Her fingers trace lazy patterns on my arm, and it’s comforting in a way that makes the frustration even harder to deal with. I want to protect her, to make all this shit go away, but I can’t. Not when she’s considering letting the guy who ruined her life walk away with just a few years behind bars.
“And you’re not mad?”
I shake my head.
I wish I could give her more than that right now, but I’m still working through the fact that she was fuckingkidnappedby Holt’s psychotic mother and that she’s even entertaining the idea of a plea deal.Five years?It’s a slap on the wrist for what that asshole did to her.
“How do you feel about the deal?” I ask, my voice tight.
At the end of it all, that's really what matters. I want what’s best for Cecilia, and I don’t want her manipulated into agreeingto something she doesn’t want. But if this is what she wants … what shereallywants … then who am I to object?
She shrugs, eyes dropping to the space between us. “I don’t know ... It feels like it’s the only way to make sure Gregory and Parker don’t get away scot-free. I … I don’t think I’m okay with that.”
In her shoes, I know I wouldn’t be. It’s just … fuck. There is no clear-cut path here.
“What if he gets out early? What if he’s back before you’re ready?”
“I’ll never be ready,” she admits, her voice barely above a whisper. “But at least this way, I’ll have time to make a plan. I can finish school, get away from Richland if I want to. I’ll have time to rebuild my life without having to look over my shoulder.”
Her words gut me. I hate that she feels like she has to make this choice. I hate that I can’t do anything but watch as she tries to piece herself back together. But I can’t argue with her logic. She’s trying to find peace in a situation that offers none.
I stay quiet for a beat, just holding her, letting her presence ground me. I promised her I wouldn’t freak out. So I won’t. For her sake, I’ll keep it together.
“I hate that you’re going through this,” I finally say, my voice rough. “I hate that I couldn’t protect you from any of it. And I’m trying to understand, I really am ... but part of me wishes you wouldn’t consider a deal. Part of me wants to ask you to push forward. To see the trial through and let the chips fall where they may, but,” I take a deep breath. “You have to do what’s best for you, and no matter what, I’ll be here to support you.”
“Thank you,” she whispers, her fingers tightening around mine. “I know you want to protect me, and I love that about you, but ... I think this is what I need to move on.”
Love?Did she mean to say that? Does saying she lovesthatabout me mean she lovesme? Like she’s in love with me or maybe falling in love with me?
No.
I’m getting ahead of myself here, but fuck. I like the sound of that.
I pull back just enough to see her face, but she’s avoiding my gaze now, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. I don’t ask her to explain herself or to repeat what she said, even though my heart is hammering in my chest at the thought of hearing those words from her again. Instead, I kiss the top of her head, letting the moment settle.
“Okay,” I say softly. “If this is what you need ... then I’ll support your decisions. But you have to promise me something.”
She looks up at me, her brows drawn in confusion. “What?”
“You have to let me in from now on. No more hiding things, no more making decisions like this on your own. We’re in this together, Cecilia. You don’t have to carry it all by yourself. I know we agreed to slow, but slow doesn’t mean solo. Alright?”
Her eyes soften, and she nods slowly. “Okay.”
“Good.” I tighten my arms around her, pressing my cheek to her hair. “Because I’m not going anywhere, no matter what happens. You and me? We’re a team now. Got it?”
She blinks up at me, a soft smile tugging at her lips. “Okay.”
I know this isn’t over and I know I should probably call the police. Report Austin’s mom for abduction or something, but I’ll let Mr. Ayala figure out how he wants to handle that mess.
