Asshole.
I don’t spare him another look as I put my car in reverse and get the hell out of there. I’m so ready for the day to be over.
The end of the day should bring with it some measure of relief, but pulling up to my childhood home does the exact opposite, and I find myself sitting in my car, my stomach churning with dread as I stave off the inevitable.
I moved out when I started at PacNorth as a freshman. My parents live close enough for me to commute, but I wanted to live on campus. Really embrace the college scene.
Joelle and I shared a dorm room and Kim lived across the hall from us in the same building. And for two years, it was perfect.
Until it wasn’t.
I can’t believe everything went to hell like it did.
Moving back home feels like I failed. Like I couldn’t hack it on my own.
Mom's Land Rover is in the driveway right beside Dad's F-two-fifty truck. They're both home, even though Dad shouldn’t be here until well after five and Mom usually stays late at the office on Mondays.
Lucky me.
I turn off the ignition and plaster a smile on my face before stepping inside.
It’s as if they’ve been waiting all day for me to walk in the door. Mom jumps from her perch on the sofa and rushes forward to give me a hug, and Dad is there, right behind her.
"How was your first day back at school?” Mom coos, running her hands over my shoulders and tucking my dark hair behind my ears.
I pull away from her, not missing the flash of hurt, but she’s quick to hide it.
My chest squeezes and I force myself to stop, to stay in the entryway a few seconds longer than I'd like to to make up for it. I don't mean to hurt her. Or make her worry. I just hate all of her hovering. If she wants things to go back to normal, she has to stop treating me like I’m made of glass.
"It was fine," I tell her and wait, knowing we're about to play a twisted round of twenty questions all to make sure Cecilia isn't at risk of killing herself again.
"Did you see your friends? Do you have any classes together?"
I shrug. "I don't really hang out with the same people anymore," I remind her.
Before this summer, I hung out with the cheerleaders and the Greeks. But I don’t want anything to do with Greek row, and as far as I'm concerned, my former squad can rot. Kim and Joelle were my best friends. Ride or die, or so I thought.
Kim’s always had this massive crush on Austin. Ever since freshman year. And Austin Holt is smart. So fucking smart.
That morning, before I even made it back to my dorm, he arranged a date with her for the very same day. And when I blew up her phone, freaking out like a crazy person because hello, she was on a date with my rapist, he used the time to convince her I was jealous. Claiming he asked me about her at the party and that I threw myself at him.
He seriously got her to believe I’d say and do just about anything to get between them. That I was desperate to ruin their shot at happiness. So when I came clean and told her what happened to me, she didn’t believe me. Not even for a second.
She called me a liar. Said I broke girl code by going after the guy I knew she wanted.
I tried to explain. I told her I said no. Repeatedly. That there was no way I would sleep with Austin willingly, let alone screw around with Parker Benson and Gregory Chambers at the same time, but she didn't believe me.Like anyone would ever reject an advance from Austin Holt.That’s seriously what she said to me.
For a second there, I thought Joelle was on my side. That she believed me. She knows I’ve never been into Austin. The clean-cut, preppy-guy look isn't my type, and I'd never date a guy in a frat or have a three some. It just isn’t me.
They're players and I’m not the kind of girl who gets around. I’m not claiming to be a saint, but I don’t do one-night stands or friends with benefits. And I sure as hell don’t do threesomes.
I’m a relationship kind of girl. Every guy I’ve slept with, all two of them—not counting what happened this summer—I was in an actual relationship with. Kim and Joelle know that. They know me. And Joelle saw the bruises with her own eyes. She was the one who suggested I go to the school board first.
But whether she believes me now or not is irrelevant because Kim called me a liar, and Joelle doesn't have the backbone to go against her, which means I’m on the outs.
Leaving the squad was easy once it was clear they weren’t going to change their minds. I loved cheerleading, but more than that, I loved being a part of a team. Belonging and having people I cared about beside me. Take that away and there isn’t anything left worth sticking around for.
"How about new friends? Did you meet anyone you clicked with in any of your classes?” She’s so damn hopeful. I don't want to steal her joy, not after everything I’ve put her through, so I offer her a little white lie, hoping she'll drop the subject after that.
