“You couldn’t have known?—“
“That Holt would come after you?” His words take me by surprise.
“Gabe, you didn’t—” Julio begins.
“I should have,” Gabriel cuts him off. “We know how guys like Holt operate. If I paid attention, I would have seen this coming. Cecilia would have been safe.” He sits back on his heels and runs his fingers through his hair, tugging at the dark brown strands in frustration.
“What did you do?” My voice shakes and I hate the look of guilt that flashes across both their faces. Pulling away, I straighten in my seat, tucking my legs beneath me. I need some separation between us. Gabriel and Julio stare at one another, some silent communication passing between them.
That’s fine. I can wait. A dull throb takes up residence in my head, and both sides of my jaw where Austin grabbed me are sore. Probably bruised.
Felix steps into the room, registers the look on our faces and clears his throat, signaling for Julio to follow. I’d laugh at how quickly those two run to avoid confrontation, but it’d hurt my face too much.
Once we’re alone, Gabriel gets up from the floor and claims the spot on the sofa beside me. His fingers flex along his thigh and he drums his fingers across his leg. The bleeding has stopped, but his hand has to hurt. I consider taking his hand and cleaning it. Julio left the first aid kit behind when he left. But then Gabriel makes a fist and says, “I know about Holt, Benson, and Chambers.”
It’s like the ground is torn out from under me.
“I know they hurt you this summer. That you went to the school board. And that PacNorth did nothing about it.”
My bottom lip quivers. He doesn’t look at me as he unearths my secrets. As he flays me open to bleed out on the floor. He knows. I sniff and stare off at an empty spot on the wall, fighting back my tears. He isn’t supposed to know. Not all the awful details surrounding it. It’s bad enough he suspected. Worse that he’s who found me on the locker room floor.God.What must he think of me?
“How?” I choke on my words and Gabriel hangs his head, still refusing to look at me. It’s like a knife to my chest.
“We asked around. Felix talked to your old roommate?— “
“Joelle?”
He nods.
I can’t sit. Shoving to my feet, I move to stand beside the window. Pressing my fingers to the cold glass, I look at him through its reflection, unsure what to say. He crossed so many lines. All of them, in fact. And for what? To assuage some morbid curiosity? “Why?” I need an answer. What was so important that he’d betray me like this?
Gabriel looks up. “I needed to know.” His stricken gaze meets mine in the glass and I almost choose to bite my tongue. But I can’t. Not about this. This is my business. Mine. Not his. I don’t care if he needs to know. He hasn't earned that right.
I whirl on him, making my head spin. “Why?” His answer isn’t good enough. Everything was fine before. But this — I replay Austin’s warnings. This changes everything. It’s not fair. Everything I care about keeps getting taken from me.
“I needed to do something. To help?— “
“You were helping. Don’t you see that?” I throw my arm out. “This,” I tell him, “Being here. Spending time with you. That’s how you help. You gave me comfort and security. A safe space where I could find myself again.”
His eyes soften. I know he cares about me. He treats me like a princess. Cared for. Cherished. Which is why I feel like the biggest bitch when I say, “And then you took it away.”
Eyes flooding with panic, he closes the distance between us. “No.” He furiously shakes his head. “That’s not what I wanted to do.” His eyes plead with me to understand. To see things his way. But I can’t. “Holt and Chambers and Benson, they can’t get away with what they did to you.”
“They already did,” I remind him. “You can’t change what’s already done. Promise you’ll stay out of this.” What I don’t say is that he’ll only make things worse if he doesn’t. I don’t want to hurt him, and being the reason I’m hurt will do exactly that. But this isn’t only about me. Maybe if it was, I’d stand in the line of fire. But Austin will ruin my family. He won’t settle for just ruining me.
I won't go up against him when I already know I’ll lose.
“If I can’t?” He reaches for me and I step away. Hurt flashes across his face.
“Then I can’t do this.”
Nostrils flaring, he fists his hands at his side, ensuring he doesn’t reach for me again. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“This.” I wave at the space between us. “Us.”
“You don’t mean that.”
Standing tall, I look him straight in the eyes. “Yes. I do.”
