“I appreciate it. I’ll talk to you soon.” I hang up before she can ask more questions…and also because emotions keep plowing into me.
A little voice at the back of my head keeps telling me to find some way to reach out to Millie. To make sure she got home okay. To see how she’s doing.
To find some way to forgive what she did because I feel like I’m fucking broken without her.
How is that possible?
How could I feel that way about someone I only knew for a few weeks? I was fine before I met her. I was whole…ish. So why do I feel like she kept a piece of me that I’ll never get back?
I don’t know the answer to that, so I focus my energy on workouts.
I get a text from Cooper asking if he can swing by after today’s game since they’re home.
I don’t reply.
He shows up anyway.
I guess this is what friends are for.
“Why don’t you ever reply to texts?” he asks when I open the door.
“It’s not personal. I don’t reply to anyone.”
He rolls his eyes, and I have no choice but to invite him in.
He waits until we’re in the kitchen and I’ve handed him some water before he jumps in with why he’s here. “Johnny said he stopped by and tried to get through to you but failed.”
“Tried to get through to me?” I ask.
“You’ve always sort of been this lone wolf, right? But this is different, man. Even when you ended things with your ex, you still showed up. You fought your ass off during spring training even though you could’ve played it like practice like the rest of us do. You put in the work, and you were able to celebrate the victories with the rest of us. If you were invited out for a drink, you might’ve gone. But now?” He shakes his head. “Is it the suspension?”
I lift a shoulder. “In part, maybe. I guess.”
“And the other part is the girl?”
My lack of reaction is apparently the answer he was looking for. I press my lips together and turn my gaze out the window.
“Come on, man. Let it the fuck out.”
“She fucking filmed us without our consent, man. It’s bullshit!”
He startles a bit at the emotion in my voice.
“We met, we had a night, and I found out she was a travel influencer. I stayed away until I couldn’t, but I told her not to put me in her content. So the second you three showed up, she goes live with all of us in it? For what? To boost content? To go viral?” I shake my head.
“Did you ever ask her why?”
I shake my head. “She said the manager pressured her to include me. Something to do with getting a paidpartnership. But how does that make it okay to violate my privacy?”
“Come on, man. You know the moment we showed up, there was zero expectation of privacy. Every single person at that pool had a phone out and aimed at us. Hers just happened to go viral, and she didn’t evennameus.”
“She didn’t have to. The comments took care of it,” I point out. “Why are you defending her?”
“Because there was a very physical change in you from the moment we arrived to the moment we left. You were happy when we got there. You were hopeful. You were excited. Despite the suspension, despite whatever the fuck is going on with your father. But then it all changed, and you came home with us. You haven’t been that same guy since.”
“I just need to get back to the game,” I mutter.
He’s quiet a few beats, and I stare out the window as I wonder whether that’s true. Eventually, he asks, “Were you in love with her?”
