She closes the space between us, and she wraps her arms around me. “Despite what you think about my career choice and my intentions, I wouldn’t intentionally hurt you. I wouldn’t sell you out to the highest bidder.”
My chest aches because Idobelieve her.
I’m nervous. Terrified, really.
Not because of my trust issues.
Because I know there’s an end date stamped on this when I finally find myself letting someone in.
CHAPTER 28: Millie Monroe
Talk it Out with Me
He muttered something about how he needed to get some rest, and he bolted. But IthinkI got through to him.
I just hope it’s not another six days before I see him again. It feels like such a waste when we’ve made so much progress over the last twenty-four hours.
He’s a complicated man who’s terrified to let anyone in, but I find myself slowly chipping away at his walls. It feels like we’re both learning a lot about ourselves on this trip, and isn’t that what you want out of a partner? Someone who can challenge you, make you think, make you trust. Make you a little crazy, make you hotter than hell, make you orgasm like you’ve never orgasmed before…
I digress.
When I check Instagram, I see my notifications are blowing up. If I didn’t know what was going on, my first thought would be that there was someone nakedin the background of my live. Or maybe I nip-slipped and didn’t realize it.
But no. I see I’ve been tagged in the same photo several times.
It’s from breakfast. Someone snapped a photo of Ford and Archer at the same table. They named the resort. And some internet detective figured out who I am—probably not hard since I’ve been broadcasting live and tagging the resort in every photo I’ve posted.
Of course this had to happen just when it felt like Archer and I were having a breakthrough, but I’m hopeful I made him see the truth about me. I’m not out to use him or hurt him.
I wish I didn’t care as much as I do. I wish it was easier to just walk away. He’s certainly trying tomakeit easier, but something just keeps drawing me back in despite knowing how dangerous this could be for me.
I keep telling myself I’m not letting my heart get involved. How could I when he hates everything I stand for? He walked away and managed to avoid me for almost an entire week. The resort is big, but it’s not that big.
And in that week, I learned something.
It only took a couple of times with him to become addicted to him. And it’s not just the sex. It’s the way I feel like he’s addicted to me, too, and he’s fighting it so hard because he’s terrified of getting hurt again. It’s the way he sees past the façade I post online to the real me. It’s the way he wants me to know that I’m more than the sum of my likes and comments online.
It’s the way he prefers me without perfect hair and makeup and the fake smile I broadcast to the world. He likes the person underneath all of that, the one I never seem to let out, because the shiny, sparkly one is the one who’s more often acknowledged.
And I don’t think I ever really realized that there’s someone behind all that. I never saw it as a differentpersonality, just a different side to me. But being without my phone for that one afternoon, where we just focused on fish and massages and each other…
It was the best afternoon I’ve had in a long time.
That’s something I should probably tell him, but admitting it is admitting that he’s right—and it’s also admitting that maybe my dream of being a travel influencer really isn’t as glamorous as I thought it would be.
And admitting that would be admitting that I have absolutely no idea what direction I want to take my life. Without that dream, that goal I’ve poured so much of myself into for the last six years…I don’t have a clue who I am or what I want anymore. I’m a bartender from a suburb of Chicago.
I’m twenty-four, and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I know I like to travel. I know I like to take photos and post on social media.
But that’s about where it begins and ends.
I don’t have any prospects for getting married and having a family, though that’s something I’ve always wanted. I see Chip and Jackie and know how happy they are together, and that’s all I want someday, too. Someone I can laugh with, someone I can rely on, someone who supports me and my dreams, whatever they may be. Someone I can have a family with.
I try to sleep, but it doesn’t go well. Everything is too turbulent right now to focus on rest.
I order breakfast up to my room and take photos to review the room service. I need to head down to the excursion desk and book some more tours, so I take a shower and walk in that direction. On my way, I spot Archer at a table at the café in the Coast Tower, tapping away on a laptop.
I walk over and pull out the chair across from him, and he glances up at me.
